I get knocked down and I get up again

Yesterday when I was walking home from Church I saw two girls walking somewhere that sounded quite exciting with their Dad. One of them tripped over a piece of flat pavement (as you do) and then there was that pause as she decided whether she hurt or not. She hurt. She cried. Her Dad picked her up and then came the cry, 'I want to go home'.

I don't know what they did in the end but I would like to think that they didn't go home, that they carried on to the exciting place and they had fun.

Sometimes on my journey there have been times where I've thought, 'I want to go home'. Wouldn't it be easier if things were simple, if life decisions weren't sometimes painful. Wouldn't it be easier if someone would tell me what to do.

When we step out in faith it's not always easy and sometimes doors get slammed in our face or we fall over, we hurt all over and we feel like we want to curl up in a box.

Time to take a breath is good. Time to be comforted and encouraged is good. Then though, we need to pick ourselves up (often with more of God's strength), look for some Godly rationality, think about why we are here and where we are going and take that slow step forward.

I watched Run Fat Boy Run again last week. Dennis hobbles round a marathon. He's over half way round and he hits the wall. I love this clip because it is the support of friends, sheer determination and the hope of the destination that keeps him going. God's there bashing down our walls with us (if we'll let him).

As one of my lecturers at college said: "Keep on keeping on".


PS I am definitely not knocked down at the moment.......... in case you're worried!

Take the second right

If I'm going somewhere new I will more often than not study google maps, even looking at the signs by the road that point me to the right place. How did we ever get anywhere without google maps? The trouble is, living in a town where sometimes a road is not a road even if it looks like a road on the map it becomes more tricky. You have to rely on your instincts, on what feels right rather than what you think you know. 


I wonder if sometimes I am too concerned with doing things the right way rather than doing what feels right. Sometimes we can get so caught up in structure and expectations and what makes other people happy that we miss the sign that's pointing to the door that takes us down a different route. The Mathematician in me wants a system, a method of doing stuff that keeps the world in balance like an equation might balance, do the same thing to one side as the other so as to not upset anyone or anything......


God calls us to trust in him though, and sometimes trusting in him is leaving the security of knowing the right way of doing things and actually doing what feels right instead. 


I have an Edward Monkton Card on the wall in my dining room that says:


"Sometimes the HEART should FOLLOW the MIND. Sometimes the HEART should tell the MIND to STAY AT HOME and STOP INTERFERING".


Sometimes doing things the right way is sensible, but often doing what feels right is even better......(even if it makes us feel uncomfortable).

Buses, Traffic Lights and Stars

Today I shouted too much. At traffic lights (there were too many), at my computer (it wouldn't do anything I asked of it), at learning Hebrew vowels and syllables (I'm sure anyone who has tried that might sympathise!) and at bus drivers who thought because they didn't see me that it was OK to beep and shout at me. 


On Sunday I preached on Philippians 2 where Paul tells us to do everything without complaining and arguing so we can be different and shine like stars in the universe.


This is one of my favourite verses in the Bible and one I find really difficult to do. It's in human nature to complain. Things are not going my way so I will moan. That person doesn't agree with me so I will shout. In my impatience I cannot deal with your laid back attitude........


But if I am going to shine. If I am going to twinkle. If I am going to light up the darkness then I need to try.....


So here's to a more peaceful journey tomorrow.......

This is me, this is my blog. Why claire 'n' fish? Because someone who has been crucial on my journey called me this and it stuck. It reminds me of how good God has been while I have walked through life. It reminds me that if I want to make a difference I need to swim against the flow (I can't remember who said only dead fish swim with the flow, but that's where that is going). It reminds me that there is hope and life even in the deepest darkest water.

On goes the journey.......