Father's Day

Our family don't do Father's day - never have done, and the one time I gave my Dad something he looked so perplexed I've not done it again. It's just not something we do as a family. My Dad does know, however, that he is my favourite Dad and that I love him and appreciate him hugely - it's not just a one day thing.

I'm aware though, that many people do do Father's Day - it's a day that we celebrate the men in our lives - the ones who have brought us up or been a source of inspiration and wisdom to us or have been there through hard stuff or been there through difficult times. It's a day when we just pause for a moment and are thankful for those who care for us and who (on the whole) are happy to see us when we turn up to say hello. 

I'm also aware that it is a day that is hard for some. It's hard for those who have never had a good father-figure in their lives - whether their real Dad or someone else - for those who have never had the fatherly love and care that some of us have experienced - who don't have someone who they can phone up and give Dad wisdom (whatever that is..!) when it's needed..... it's hard because whilst everyone else is giving thanks, hurt and pain rises to the surface and it bites. 

I'm also very much aware of the pain of not being able to be a Father when you desperately have wanted to - and as every other man who we know looks down to the hand lifting up the card towards them, the ache of emptiness and loss feels more desolate than usual. The pain of men in childlessness is not always acknowledged or recognised as much as for women.... but we need to remember it's there.... and it hurts - and for those that are hurting this weekend in particular, know that you are not forgotten.

As we celebrate Father's Day (or not) with the increasingly frustrating alpha-male Father stereotypes of breakfasts with MEAT, chocolate bars for men, quad bikes, shooting and man make fire, we need to pause for a moment.... firstly because being a good father is about none of those things just as being a man is not about aiming having to enjoy those things, and secondly because for some people the day is really hard..... and as we pause, we look up....

Because amongst the celebrations, and cards and man-food, there is the best Father ever, waiting with arms open wide to welcome us - to sit with us in our pain, to walk with us as we deal with our history, to be proud of us and welcome us as part of his family.... God the Father - he's better than any earthly Dad, loves us more than anyone and accepts us completely for who we are..... And he gets us. Completely. 

A Father's Day Prayer

Our Loving and Heavenly Father
We thank you for our Dads:
the real ones, the adopted ones, 
the found ones, the lost ones; 

We thank you for the men in our lives, 
Those who share deep love freely
Those who would do anything for anyone
Those who will never let us down.

We lift to you those who have never had a Dad;
Those who have been hurt by their Dads
Those who have had been let down by their Dads
And we ask that you embrace them and show them your love

We lift to you those who have never been a Dad,
Who are hurting because of loss and emptiness
We ask that you would comfort them in their hurt
And bring light where at times there is only darkness.

Our loving and Heavenly Father
We thank you that you are our Dad
We thank you for your love
And we run, head long, into your arms.

Amen