Dear friend, colleague, one who looks at me and calls me a disgrace,
Thank you for my comments on my call to be a minister. I would say they are much appreciated, but actually, they're not. Your contempt towards me because of my gender is, sadly, not unusual, but surprisingly loud at the moment. I am not sure where your idea has come from that you can comment on my calling as a woman even though you have never met me and don't know my journey to ministry, but you seem to claim you have authority to do so.
You see, the thing is, my primary calling to ministry is not from human beings, and particularly not from 80 year old men who claim an authority that is not their's. My calling is from God. It has been affirmed by my sending church, the church that ordained me, my college, my Baptist family and the church I am called to minister now where the call was so strong it cannot be anyone but God who brought me here.
As I explored the calling that I felt upon my life and took ten years to come to a decision to go to college exploring all the arguments for and against this pull in my heart, as I explored scripture and saw examples of women in leadership positions making an impact on the world, as I tried to do everything else but train to be a minister and got pulled back time and time again, as I saw rainbows at every turn confirming who I was being called to be, as I became more and more secure in my identity in Christ, I became increasingly certain that this is where and who I am meant to be.
There are days when I feel like an imposter, when I feel like I'm making it all up. There are days when I wonder if I can stick it. There are days when I am so exhausted from the pressure of pastoral encounter after encounter that I wonder if I have the strength to carry on.
I want to thank you then, dear friend, colleague, one who calls me a disgrace..... for reminding me of how I am called to this by God. As I read over your comments about me and every female minister across the world, I am reminded of the strength of my call, of the barriers I've faced, and the continual affirmation of others in where and who God has made me to be. Your words aren't going to stop me, because they remind me that I am not an imposter. They remind me that I am chosen, called and sent as I seek to walk in the way God is leading me - he has me by the hand.
Your words, then, I shall let wash over me, your arguments, they send me to sleep.... and my hope, my deepest hope for you, is that one day you will look around and see the women pastoring congregations across the world, the work that we are doing, and recognise that God is at work.
With every blessing.
A disgraceful woman.
PS I couldn't sell jewellery on TV to save my life - perhaps that's part of the reason I'm called to be a minister.
This letter is a response to comments summed up in this article which sounds like a parody but sadly isn't.
