In the Silence

We've all been there. Waiting. 

And waiting some more. 

There is no response, or the excruciating hold music seems to go on forever as you shift through the queue slower than snails pace, or your ask for an answer is responded to with an excuse that is pathetic and unwanted but difficult to argue with. 

Waiting looking into a void where the answer is so far away it is not even a dot. 

Prayer can be a bit like that. 

I've been chewing over the story of the persistent widow in Luke 18 for a few days now, unable to climb over the 'but what if you pray and there is no response?' question. The 'what if God is silent?' question. Is he there or has he gone on holiday? Has he forgotten me? 

It's one of the questions I find most difficult to answer and when we wait for  answers that are a long time in coming the silence does echo round the void. I've walked with others through this question many times - I've sat with them and wept with them in the silence... and its a tough place to be.

It's a question that many of us have wrestled with on our own behalf and on behalf of others and where the answer never seems enough, and instead we rely on the incomprehensible feeling of peace that God does bring in the most difficult of storms. Peace that passes all understanding. 

When God says wait.... and when he doesn't even say wait and is silent.... what can we do? 

The parable of the persistent widow tells us to persevere because God is good and right and just. 

Well that's true, but that might also be one of those answers that is a bit annoying, especially when the waiting is tiring you out and the silence is painful. 

What does persevering in prayer look and sound like when the whisper of an answer isn't there? 

It is remembering that we live in a broken and fallen world, and it is in this world that we pray for God's Kingdom to come. We recognise that suffering is a part of life, but we still pray for God's Kingdom to come. If we live with hope and expectation that at some point the suffering will end, then we can put on the shield of faith and look forward to the day that it will - it is our responsibility to cry out to God to change things as we point to signs of his kingdom coming. It is an opportunity to look ahead with hope to different. 

It is remembering that we are not in this on our own. When we get tired of it all, we turn to others to help us hold up our arms. We turn to God and say help me persevere. Jesus intercedes for us (Hebrews 7:25). The Holy Spirit prays for us in 'groans that words cannot express' (Romans 8:26). 

It is sometimes learning to live with what is and what has been as we best we can, and asking God to hold it and us, knowing that he understands the pain and frustration we may have to endure and that he is the bringer of peace that passes all understanding in the midst of the storm. Persevering alongside someone is trying to act a bit more like this in it all - not always asking them if the prayer has worked yet, but sitting with them and lamenting that it's all a bit rubbish really, and praying together to find peace as well as answers.

Perhaps perseverance is simply knowing that God will eventually speak, and will eventually act, and will eventually change things, but that right now the picture is more complicated than a simple answer, and so choosing to find comfort in the knowledge that where we sit and pray and question in the silence, God is there - in companiable silence - the kind of silence that makes us feel safe, that makes us feel loved, and helps us to know that there is light - even in the darkest places. 

The Word became flesh and moved into the neighbourhood.... and promised never to leave us or forsake us.