Fishing, Maths and Faith

There are times in this crazy minister in training world I inhabit that I wake up and declare 'it would be easier if I was still a maths teacher'.Other teachers might argue 'no it's not' - but don't get me wrong, I'm not saying what I am doing now is harder, it's just that it's differently hard for me and affects me in ways I could never imagine. I was the kind of teacher who was able to separate out my maths teacher life and the rest of it. Relaxing, reflecting and getting away was easy. I was efficient. The nature of maths as a subject meant that a lot of the marking and planning could be done on auto pilot - delving deep into the beauty of the subject, but keeping it simple because maths - well - it just is. I was never called to be a maths teacher for ever - throughout my teaching life I knew I was only doing this for a time, that I would need to move on.....

But sometimes I wake up and say 'what if I was still there?'

I've been listening to a sermon preached by Jeff Lucas this morning called 'Breakfast with Jesus' (see video below), that just at the right time challenged that feeling when I woke up this morning and declared to God 'it would be easier if.....'. It was based on the passage at the end of John's gospel where Jesus meets the disciples on the beach and they have breakfast together. Peter and Jesus then have their famous interaction where Jesus challenges him 'Do you love me more than these'. 

Peter, the fisherman, who had given it all up to follow Jesus was fishing after Jesus' death. His life as a fisherman was easy. He may have not always got the catch of fish he wanted. He may have worked in the dead of night. But..... it was familiar, autopilot, what he was good at. 

"Do you love me more than these...." fish..... maths lessons...... those things I do that make me feel comfortable and efficient and good and.......

Jesus says 'me or the fish?' 

Faith or fish? 

Jeff Lucas talks about how once you've entered the Kingdom of God you will never be satisfied with just surviving. 

If I was still a maths teacher I would survive. I could be mardy when I wanted to be mardy. I could take out my frustrations on the pupils who irritate me (no teacher ever does that, honestly), I could throw a strop with my colleagues and not have them raise their eyebrows at my ridiculouslessness - my 'un-Christian' behaviour, I could go wild (in an introverted, restrained way), I could choose the people who I have in my life and avoid the ones who irritate me. 

But I wouldn't be the person who God created and called me to be. I'm not meant to be a maths teacher (some people are, and in serving God in that role, may wake up in the morning and say 'it would be easier if.....') but I'm meant to be living right now this crazy, sometimes mind blowing, life that God has called me to.

Faith or fish?  

A bus ride and a little bit of maths

So I caught up on sleep and am very grateful for air conditioning. I have learned the value of earplugs as a necessity, eaten good food and moved bedrooms so I don't have to share a double bed. There are the luxuries....

Before tea last night we had a briefing on what we are going to do in the next couple of weeks, alongside some really nice cake..... We met with a group of enthusiastic pastors and leaders of projects who told us about the things we will be doing.

It' just gone lunchtime here (the same as last night, veg curry, potato curry, rice, ice cream with the addition of dahl - but as Richard said, that kind of repetition is the kind of repetition we like..) and we are resting before we go shopping for suitable local clothes for some of the places we are going to be visiting in the next few days. 

This morning we had our first experience of one of the projects the BMS supports, and our first experience of having to get up and do stuff with a two second warning. 

We visited the Good News Mission School and I got to teach some maths (which took me back...). Children are picked up by bus (along with us for today and tomorrow) and taken to the school - a small hut which, when you thought about it, was not big enough for 50 students! It was about half as big as my classroom last year, which was not big enough for 35....! It was good fun and they clearly loved it, even the girl who didn't want to do hard take-aways was very happy to be there and even happier when I marked her book.... (she got them right).

It made me remember when I talked to my class at school about how they hated school and had to go and it wasn't fair. These children loved being picked up, being fed and being looked after, but not only that, clearly loved the learning and the opportunity they have been given.