I am beginning to get to know the children at church and they are beginning to get to know me - so much so that one said to me the other day 'why are you not standing at the front singing? It's silly when you sing!'. It's good to know that the children who are part of church are now seeing me as a permanent fixture and are beginning to talk to me a little bit more. You can have the best conversations with children about faith and often they can be poignant and deeply meaningful.
Like the time I was asked how Jesus was hung on the cross and wouldn't that be really difficult and really painful?
Like the time I was told off for not praying before a meal because we have to give thanks for our food.
Like the time I asked the church to write down what church is about and one child, in discussion with her mum, came up with three words....
Juice, Jesus, Sheep.
So simple, but so poignant.
For some reason I remembered that moment yesterday and I reflected on the wisdom of the 3 year old that shared it and summed up many people's journeys with church in a nutshell.
Juice: The welcome we receive in church is so important - I'm so passionate about the quality of the food and drink we serve - what does the quality of our hospitality say about the welcome we offer? Is it like the church I went to visit once that only put the good biscuits on the table for the regulars and it was a search to even find the way in it was so poorly signposted..... or do we welcome all with a greeting at the door, an invite to participate with an abundance of food for all, the best biscuits and enough coffee to fill even the Gilmore Girls coffee need? The quality of our welcome is so important because it says something about the welcome that Jesus gives to all.
Jesus: Well, of course church is about Jesus - Jesus who is the answer to all - our centre, our cornerstone, our shepherd, our guide, our saviour, our redeemer, our restorer. Church without Jesus is just another community group. Church has a huge role in pointing people to Jesus - this is who he is - do you know him? If you don't, then get to know him... it can only be a good thing.
Sheep: The sheep follow the shepherd. A church is made up of disciples - people on a journey to and with Christ. Sheep depend on the shepherd for guidance and for direction. Sheep hear the shepherd's voice, recognise it and follow the shepherd's call. Disciples seek to grow in faith, seek to share their faith and encourage others on their faith journey. Disciples keep on the road with Christ.
Church in three words, summed up by a three year old.
Perfect.
If church is like a family we need to listen to the voices of all the generations - the old ones, the young ones, the tiny ones, the ones in between.... the articulate ones, the ones who find it difficult to put a sentence together, the silent ones, the ones who will never shut up..... their voices..... they matter.
Juice, Jesus, Sheep.
I was sat in the corner of an empty coffee shop this morning drinking a large black Americano (it's Monday after all) pleased I'd managed to get my favourite seat again - the perfect seat where I had clear view of the door so I could keep an eye on who was coming in, but had my back to the wall so nobody could surprise me. The cushions were perfect and the temperature was right.
The coffee shop began to fill up. First was a someone who clearly was waiting for a business meeting beside me - his meeting companion turned up, introduced himself and the next time I looked they had disappeared. A woman with a toddler arrived and they sat a couple of tables away, ready for an early lunch. A toddler from our toddler group arrived, not accompanied by his Mum (who I know) but by three strangers who I assume were his Dad and Grandparents who were picking up takeaway lattes.
And then it happened.
The door opened - a woman with a buggy and small baby. She sat one table away, shifted the tables and manoeuvred her buggy into place.
The door opened again and another woman with a buggy waved hello and shifted the table enough to fit in a high chair - she looked at me now a little pinned in and apologised (a little) - I said 'someone is joining me' (worried they wouldn't get in). She shrugged and put the baby in the high chair.
The door opened again and another woman (without a buggy) sat down at the table, handing her baby to another as she went to get a high chair for hers.... by this point the possibility of me having space for my companion was almost nil unless we wanted to sit knee to knee with our heads in the high chairs and (as I don't like to get too close to people and meeting in this way for a serious conversation would not have been good) I considered moving....
The women, as if in sync, then picked up their babies and stood up in a dance that only a group of mums can do and rocked.
I took that opportunity to slide across the bench and frown as my perfect seat was exchanged for the seat next to the sauces and the menus, ready for interruption from the next person who needed a condiment.
It reminded me of an episode from Gilmore Girls (not that I am an addict, honestly) where Luke the diner owner is rather grumpier than normal and he points out that the reason why is the group of parents and babies who set up camp in his diner every weekend, bringing tables together and changing the status quo.
I realised I was turning into Luke... and I tried not to.
I recently had a conversation with a woman somewhat older than me about children in church. She said that they used to have a few children, but that when one of them got to 18 months, he began to get a bit boisterous and actually was too much of a distraction to the congregation and preacher and secretly she was glad he wasn't there any more. But she'd like more children in church.
As I sat and was entertained by one of the babies in the high chair who cheered me up as I was waiting for a meeting that didn't happen because it had been planned for a different day, I reflected on this, and my own response to the entry of the three women to the coffee shop. I loved that those children were there. I loved that they made me smile.... but I didn't like being knocked out of place....
Perhaps the women should have thought of me a little more, but actually, it didn't matter, I still had a place to sit... I could still see the door... I still had a wall at my back so no-one could creep up on me... and actually no-one wanted condiments while I was sat drinking the last dregs of my coffee. I told myself off, and as I did so I reflected on what I could have said to the woman who was secretly glad that boisterous toddler wasn't there anymore.
If we want to be welcoming and not just friendly to people of all ages, but particularly young children, we need to accept them as they are. Those women with babies - they just wanted some space, and yes, maybe they could have asked, but actually, it wasn't really a problem to frown at. The child who likes to run, let them run... as a preacher I'm happy that children feel free to run and play at the front (and I think it's good for the church to embrace that kind of life!). When the time is right, then part of my role as worship leader is to help them to learn how to and enable them in worship, so I sit down with them on the step and speak to them at their level as I share with them and the rest of the congregation... or I pick them up and they help me to lead the whole congregation as their smile tells us all something of the Kingdom of God... or I sit them on one of the 'special' communion chairs because the joy it brings to their faces brings joy to the rest of us...
I do this because Jesus said 'let the children come to me, do not stop them - the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these...'.
My experience in the coffee shop was a bit of a warning to me that our resistance to a change in the status quo can be so deeply ingrained that we do not realise why we are acting in the way we are before it becomes too big to manage.... and that my challenge to that woman in the church should have been a challenge that I also give to myself...
As church we need to be constantly asking whether our frowns and secret celebrations are what place hostile barriers to prevent us welcoming like Jesus.... and we need to ask whether a slight slide down the bench to a place that is not perfect for our own needs might be what's best for the bigger picture and it might be just where God is calling us to slide...... in fact, if we are to be welcoming and not just friendly it probably is....
Don't be like Luke.... or actually like me in Monday morning perfect seat coffee shop mode.. there is a better way to be....
Go on.... slide....
Imagine if.....???
Imagine if life was different to how it is now? Imagine if we weren't held back by bureaucracy and form filling and finance. Imagine if we weren't held back by our own hang ups and ideas of how things should be......
Imagine if we could see beyond the obvious to dream of the non-obvious to something better.... Imagine if we could look at a dry patch of ground and picture what it might become.
Some of us can do that.... some of us find it much harder..... but imagine if....?
Imagine if we launched ourselves out of our comfortable place into something new.... who knows what might happen?
Imagine if......
Yesterday at our church meeting I began the meeting my reading a story called Not a Stick . I came across this story in a session on change at college in September.... It's a story of imagination, of dreaming, of seeing beyond the obvious to something much more exciting and bigger.
It tells the story of a pig who has a stick..... The pig is told to 'be careful with that stick', 'watch where you are going with that stick'....... And the pig keeps telling the narrator 'it's not a stick'.
The stick is more than a stick.... its a fishing rod, a sword to fight dragons, a spear.... For the pig, the stick is really these things, their imagination dreaming of so much more than is there straight on.
As I read the story at our meeting three of the children who are part of our church family were playing with a big box in the overflow room at the back of the worship space. As I led the meeting I watched their imagination run wild - making windows and doors.... a chaotic crazy (what looked like a) mess becoming something new and 'not a box'. It was coloured and altered and thrown around...... pens were used as scissors and the glitter left over in the box from Christmas was thrown everywhere.....
In that 'not a box' moment the children were living out 'not a stick' for real at the same time we were all dreaming what were quite big dreams about the future of our church community cafe.
If we are to enter the kingdom of God like a child (Matt 18:2-4), then maybe like a child we too should dream 'not a box' and 'not a stick' dreams as we see how much bigger God is than what we can see right in front of us.
What's God asking us to do? What's God saying? Are we missing it because we are being very careful with that stick and missing its not-a-stickness?
Imagine if...???
"See, I am doing a new thing!
Not it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland" Isaiah 43:19
