Pulling up the rug.....

Some of you might not relate to this because you are of the category of 'super-cleaner' - you always move your furniture and your rugs when you clean so the concept of what I am going to say will be beyond your comprehension, but bear with me..... 

For those of you who do not do that, think about that day you decide to do a more thorough clean than normal and you decide that your rug in your living room needs a big clean and the floor underneath as a result. You remove your coffee table from the rug - it's heavy because of all the stuff inside, so you remove all of the stuff too and pile it up somewhere to be replaced later. As you do so you remember the time you took that photo, the memory of the day you started the jigsaw that sits on top, but never quite got finished. You pick up that book you meant to read and put it on top of the one you've read 500 times. You move the pile of letters that needs filing to another 'to be filed' pile and you remove all the little bits and pieces that are handy to have lying about.....

And finally you get to the rug. You roll it up and discover things you'd put there to deal with later. The letter from an ex that you couldn't bear to throw away at the time. The card that tried to fix a friendship but you couldn't bear to read at the time. Pages from your old journal where you write in detail of the impossibly difficult time you had find their way into your hands and you remember why you hid them because to deal with them at any time would be painful and difficult. In amongst the mess you find an article that you'd kept because it had inspired you to dream big dreams in the past, but you weren't ready to dream quite so big just then. There was hope, but the hope got hidden under the everyday activities of life. 

And of course there is dirt, and there is dust, and all those things that got brushed under the rug you didn't know were there, the broken bits of that mug you dropped on the floor that didn't get hoovered up and there is a lot of cleaning to do..... 

You sit and you look at the mess, the piles around you, and you have a cup of coffee and you sit and you wait, but it doesn't move. If the mess is going to cleaned up, if the ghosts of the past are to be dealt with, if the dreams we once had are to be realised, someone has to do something about it.... 

The Covid-19 pandemic and the subsequent lockdown seems to have created an atmosphere that has shined a spotlight on what is under that rug. In our churches, in our organisations, in our government, in our lives, the things that have been brushed under the rug to be dealt with later or simply ignored because they are too difficult to deal with are being revealed, entangled in the mess we didn't even know was there. As all the activities and busyness of everyday life has been stripped away, what has been hidden beneath the rug has gained a life of its own and is really raising it's head. 

It's led us into all sorts of difference spaces - the blame headspace (it's not my mess), the 'someone else will clear up after me' headspace (I mean it's their job isn't it?), the apathetic headspace (it's not my job definitely and I'm just going to carry on the way I've always carried on), the 'let's unroll that rug again and cover it all up' headspace, the 'let someone else do it and we'll kick them while they do it' headspace ...... but none of that deals with the mess. 

Perhaps this is the time to face up to the mess, the broken bits, the past and do some mending, do some clearing out, do some dealing with, do some healing and when we've done all that, begin to dream those dreams again...... lay down the rug on a clean floor, place on top a new coffee table and step tentatively into a more pleasant, less busy, better future. It might be painful, it might tear us apart, we might ache because the sticky mess in the middle of the floor that we can't identify involves more elbow grease than we ever knew we had..... but something needs to be done, because as the brokenness is highlighted, the mending must begin, the mess under the rug we've been ignoring must be faced before it becomes even greater. 

Moving forward doesn't happen without a new start, forgetting the past doesn't happen if we are going to rediscover it again, put off the old, put on the new..... for that is the way in which we are taught. 

"....take on an entirely new way of life - a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you" - Ephesians 4:24ish (the Message)


image from here https://images.app.goo.gl/rAF55Zcregi3cqCW9

Learning to ride again

This morning I read one of those articles that someone regularly puts up in ministers groups that speculates on what life will look like once what the new normal is is revealed. 

I realised after I read it that I don't want to read articles like this anymore. I don't want to read your musings which are influenced by your own dreams of church about what church will look like post lockdown. I can't do it any more. 

If there is anything this time is teaching us is that we need to wait and see. I remember just before we had to close our buildings and the feeling in those groups was that we had to make contingency plans and I did that but then two days later I ripped it all up and started again because all the social distancing ideas we put in place were not possible anymore. 

If this time teaches us anything it teaches us that we can't be in control of this. We can't predict how things are going to go. We can have ideas, we can have dreams, we can imagine that church will become everything we want it to be, but that doesn't mean that will happen. 

Our future practise will arise from our experience. I believe our call right now is to be reflective practitioners, to listen and to learn from what is happening and adjust our direction to the hand that is tugging us down the path we might not have quite noticed before. 

I was sat in a webinar (hate that word) on listening to God in lockdown on Thursday night after the end of a long day when the things that needed to be sorted in the long day had not been sorted and I was feeling a bit disheartened. One of the contributors (forgive me for forgetting who) used the image of learning to ride a bike. At the moment it's like our stabilisers have been taken off and we are very much trying to find them again to find balance.... but actually maybe our call is not to find the stabilisers, maybe actually what is happening right now is that God is helping us to learn to ride in the way he is calling us without them. 

Those stabilisers (the weekly gathering that grounds us, the routine that keeps us in rhythm) have been taken off completely, not just lost, and God has let go of the saddle as we learn to peddle in the way he has taught us to on a journey that has an unknown destination as yet. Perhaps right now, we just need to learn to ride. When you first learn to ride a bike, it's not to go anywhere, it's to learn to adjust your balance as necessary, peddle at the right pace without getting dizzy, to turn the handle bars when the signs tell you to, to press the brakes at the right pressure and to put your feet down to stop when that's what you need to do and not just fall off because the stablisers aren't there to prevent that falling anymore. 

We learn to ride by getting on that bike, reflecting on our experience when we end up with a grazed knee, and doing it a bit differently next time so it doesn't hurt in the same way anymore. 

Our destination is not in our hands right now, and while we can dream and hope, we can't fix our eyes on anything but the direction that will be revealed over time. Our future holds many possibilities, but now is not time to predict the one route that future will take us down. Now is the time to let that route arise from the steps to which we are called. Now is the time to let that route arise from within the community we serve. Now is the time for that route to be revealed by the one who knows when we will be ready to see the destination.

One of the meditations of the day in the Northumbria Community Daily Prayer talks about how "if you must lead, let it be like the wind and all its unshackled direction". That strikes me every time I read it, and is particularly appropriate right now. 

Now is the time to listen to the wind, because the wind, it blows wherever it wishes. 


Photo from https://www.flickr.com/photos/danbax/8568310235/

Would you rather be church?

Would you rather have one church meeting or lots of little pocket size "congregations" all meeting in different places? 

There is a meme going round that I think that people are finding helpful in dealing with the current situation which shows a conversation between the devil and God with the devil claiming he has shut down all churches and God saying, no I've just opened up one in every home. It's quite a comforting image in this time, as it reminds us that God is bigger than this and that the church cannot be killed by a virus. 

However, there is something about it that grates on me. It gives an individualistic image of what church is that perhaps we should try and avoid as much as we should try and avoid the image of the church as the building. 

The word translated church in the New Testament is ekklesia - meaning 'the congregation' or 'the gathering' (however big that gathering is). It is definitely not an individual in their own home singing worship songs alone. It is not taking time out to watch videos of sermons and prayers on a Sunday when you feel like it and can fit it in, but it's about the gathering of believers, Christ centred community.

I'd love to be able to live stream, because there is something about being together at that time that would be really helpful to be being church, but I can't, so I am encouraging people to all follow through the service and join for coffee afterwards to keep some sense of gathering, and in a way, it gives us chance to make that gathering and feel something of our call to Christ Centred Community. 

The likelihood is that our scattering as church is going to go on longer than we might hope, and that even when we are allowed to meet, the restrictions put upon us will make it difficult for us to meet in the ways we want to - because community - gathering - ekklesia - is about togetherness centred on Jesus and our ways of expressing togetherness - physical interaction, eating together, singing together, simply sitting side by side - they don't fit in well with social distancing. The alternatives, for most people, are lacking, but alternatives we are trying to find. 

They're when we are able to share stories and birthdays and worship songs and inspirational quotes on whatsapp. They're when we're able to gather on zoom for coffee or prayer. They're when a small number of us meet to distribute food during the week and we do so motivated by Christ and pray together and sing happy birthday on video. They're in the moments shared over the phone and the meetings on the doorsteps. They're in the joy of seeing someone you know from across the car park. 

Our current situation doesn't mean that each household becomes a church (that doesn't fit nicely theologically and it has the danger of encouraging individualistic faith that feels like it doesn't need to engage with anything bigger). From the beginning of Christianity the church has met together to share food, break bread and worship God together. If we are only meant to do that as individuals from our own homes, where does 2000 years of history sit?

We are the church, and we are the church wherever we are, standing together in worship in a building or scattered in the community, but it doesn't mean there are many pocket size individual churches. And to be honest, I'd rather be church - Christ-centred community called together in worship, service and prayer, whatever that looks like right now. 

"So let's do it - full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshipping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching" - Hebrews 10:22-25 The Message

On Weeding (and leadership)

My new house is beautiful - I love it - I'm really pleased with how it looks and just under three months of living in it, it's home. I feel settled and I look round and can't believe how privileged and happy I am to call it home. 

My garden, however, is another story. I have more flowers in it than my old garden (which managed to grow St John's Wort like it was going out of fashion but not much else) but also more weeds..... monster weeds too. 

I am no gardener, but I do understand the importance of making sure that weeds are removed - I'm on it - slowly but surely - I'm on it. The other week I weeded out a whole bed and I was going to plant some things in it, but instead of buying plants last week I went to Eastbourne to see the sea and get attacked by gulls (because....). The other evening I walked into my garden and decided to start on the monster weeds on the other side. I filled an ikea bag and looked at the previously weeded bed and realised that needed a re-weed before the weeds became monster again. 

Weed..... 

Although I am no gardener, I often reflect on how leading a church is a bit like being a gardener - and as I got frustrated at all the weeding I inevitably turned to thinking about church leadership. Before I moved I kept meeting church leaders who told me that the first few months are crucial because that's when you can go in and change everything - tell them you're not having it that way. 

Rip the weeds out fast - then turn round and take the monster weeds out of the other side of the garden..... 

Except that's not how I am called to lead - because if you concentrate on simply ripping out you don't deal with the roots underneath and the weeds just grow back. Change doesn't happen by ripping the old out, change happens by gently nurturing and cultivating the community in the way of Christ (remember Slow Church? If you've never come across it have a look here....)

In the bed I cleared first, although the weeds are beginning to show through again, they're much smaller, and when it cools down a bit I will revisit and then get on and plant some stuff..... but I do know within those weeds, underneath the soil and growing above it are plants to be nurtured and rediscovered - things of beauty that are ready to flourish..... bulbs waiting to come to life and grow again when their season begins, a plant that has stood strong although it has been surrounded by dock leaves and grass and there has been an attempt to choke it with bind weed and a massive excitable Buddliea that attracts all sorts of beautiful butterflies and grows with crazy abundance and will eventually need a bit of pruning. 

And as I journey on in this adventure, looking for what is growing already, for the potential in what has already been planted and for new opportunities to grow something new, as I continue to work on those weeds that will inevitably come back, but weaker and with less space to grow, and nurture the plants that are growing already, I wait with anticipation at what the seasons will bring and to the time that bed becomes beautiful in a new and unique way.

Juice, Jesus, Sheep

I am beginning to get to know the children at church and they are beginning to get to know me - so much so that one said to me the other day 'why are you not standing at the front singing? It's silly when you sing!'. It's good to know that the children who are part of church are now seeing me as a permanent fixture and are beginning to talk to me a little bit more. You can have the best conversations with children about faith and often they can be poignant and deeply meaningful. 

Like the time I was asked how Jesus was hung on the cross and wouldn't that be really difficult and really painful? 

Like the time I was told off for not praying before a meal because we have to give thanks for our food. 

Like the time I asked the church to write down what church is about and one child, in discussion with her mum, came up with three words....

Juice, Jesus, Sheep. 

So simple, but so poignant. 

For some reason I remembered that moment yesterday and I reflected on the wisdom of the 3 year old that shared it and summed up many people's journeys with church in a nutshell. 

Juice: The welcome we receive in church is so important - I'm so passionate about the quality of the food and drink we serve - what does the quality of our hospitality say about the welcome we offer? Is it like the church I went to visit once that only put the good biscuits on the table for the regulars and it was a search to even find the way in it was so poorly signposted..... or do we welcome all with a greeting at the door, an invite to participate with an abundance of food for all, the best biscuits and enough coffee to fill even the Gilmore Girls coffee need? The quality of our welcome is so important because it says something about the welcome that Jesus gives to all. 

Jesus: Well, of course church is about Jesus - Jesus who is the answer to all - our centre, our cornerstone, our shepherd, our guide, our saviour, our redeemer, our restorer. Church without Jesus is just another community group. Church has a huge role in pointing people to Jesus - this is who he is - do you know him? If you don't, then get to know him... it can only be a good thing. 

Sheep: The sheep follow the shepherd. A church is made up of disciples - people on a journey to and with Christ. Sheep depend on the shepherd for guidance and for direction. Sheep hear the shepherd's voice, recognise it and follow the shepherd's call. Disciples seek to grow in faith, seek to share their faith and encourage others on their faith journey. Disciples keep on the road with Christ. 

Church in three words, summed up by a three year old. 

Perfect. 

If church is like a family we need to listen to the voices of all the generations - the old ones, the young ones, the tiny ones, the ones in between.... the articulate ones, the ones who find it difficult to put a sentence together, the silent ones, the ones who will never shut up..... their voices..... they matter. 

Juice, Jesus, Sheep. 

Onwards we row (together).....

Onwards we row....

A phrase I’ve said a lot recently. It speaks of the journey I’ve been on in the last year where seasons of change and celebration have arrived almost monthly as I’ve encountered exciting and challenging and life changing events that not only have affected my legs and my feet like a long walk, but have meant putting my whole self in and pushing onwards with my full being for the ride - occasionally just floating and enjoying the view before picking up my oars again and continuing on.....

Onwards we row.....

Around this time last year I was in York and stood watching three rowers in the river - racing rowers in their long thin boats. One boat had somehow got stuck on a tree trunk and couldn’t go anywhere. The other boats came up beside them and with much manoeuvring and team work they managed to remove the offending tree and dragged it back as the trapped boat was released to row once again. I watched as they manoeuvred the trunk to the side and then set off again on the journey. 


Onwards we row..... 

That picture of the boats in York has struck me again and again and as I sit in the week between induction when I was surrounded by those who have helped the path over the last year be as smooth as possible and Bapass where I will be handshook alongside some of my favourite dreamers (and missing the Eurovision finals again) I’ve come back to it.

We can’t be lone rowers because sometimes the tree trunk rises up from beneath. We can’t be lone rowers because sometimes we are so tired we need someone else to take the oars. We can’t be lone rowers because sometimes we might need to help others remove the the blockage from their path. We can’t be lone rowers because in those moments where we pause to glide we would have nobody to turn to and shout ISN’T THIS GREAT!! 

And that’s why community is so important - and why, for me, beyond and before leading a church community, being part of one is so important, because sometimes the rowing needs extra strength, and when I’m surrounded by those who get it, that extra strength to take the tree trunk to the shore appears without me even knowing and sets me again on my way. 

Onwards we row.....

The writer of Hebrews encourages the readers to “not give up meeting together” (Heb 10:25) - as we meet together we spur one another on to live out our faith and encourage one another to keep on keeping on....... Value your church community, value your support networks - your friends and your family - because you never know when you might need them to surround you and help you over the tree trunk that’s getting in the way. 

Onwards we row.... 

On walking alone......

If you know me well, you will know that I am generally content just the way I am. I don't crave after things I don't have (apart from, perhaps, shoes) and I am quite happy sitting on my own in front of Netflix watching a box set and playing angry birds..... 

I love that I can make my own decisions and can just get on with them. I love that I can just go on my day off (ahem) and not tell anyone where I am going. I love that I can get up when I want, leave a mess where I want and not have to worry about what someone else is doing next or what they are doing that they shouldn't be doing or what they are not doing that they should..... 

I love that in the Bible Paul holds up the benefits of being single - you can totally focus on what God is calling you to do - and in the last six months I've experienced just that - my call to move has been so strong, so personal, that to factor someone else in would have been really quite hard. 

There are times though, that it's tough...... 

One thing that someone said to me when I began the journey to ministry was that as a single person it would be particularly hard. I have never forgotten this... and as I face the next part of my life on my own and have to make decisions about whether to keep or give away the wine bottle with a glass on the top that has never left its box and have to remember to tell everyone from my mortgage company to my membership of the obscure ingredients in cake club and as I have to wash up because the dishwasher broke and remember to eat sensible food when the fridge is empty, it's hard. 

As I pack and am reminded of the stories of failed relationships through the memories I discover it's hard. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely better off single.... my stories of dating disasters and love lost could be enough to fill a comedy set or a a series of episodes of Friends before Ross and Rachel got together. I am happy on my own - I don't regret not having children, as I have ones who I love in my life and who love me back, but I don't have the responsibility of bringing them up in this weird world we live in. I don't crave affection (perhaps a hug (normally one armed) very occasionally, when a wall has walked its way towards me or a tractor has driven into me or when I'm facing a big change, like, say, moving... or work is hard or I have had bad news). I don't even want to go there with the bizarre world of dating.... it's a minefield more difficult to deal with than the Baptist settlement system.... 

I guess what I am trying to say in this weirdly quite personal blog is that it's hard....and also that I am thankful.... for those who bear with when I am losing my common sense for a while and tell me to eat.... for those who hold me up when I'm tripping up wherever I go.... for those who don't say to me, 'one benefit of moving is that you will have a bigger pond to fish in' (yes, it has been said).... for those who include me and welcome me as part of their family because they like me, not because they feel sorry for me (there is nothing to feel sorry about)..... for those who will laugh at my ultimate dating party piece and not look at me with sad eyes.... 

One of the problems with church is that too often we have the sad eyes when we look on someone who is single. Questions are asked; 'what do we do with all the single people in church - how can we include them?'. We assume that marriage is the ultimate destination and the singles must have something wrong with them. 

In ministry, there are added challenges; 'she can do anything, she has no responsibilities'. When you work on your day off there is no one to keep you in check.... when you are out every night there is no one to challenge, when you work in your holidays nobody tells you off.... when you need to offload there is no one to offload to. 

What we can first do is avoid the sad eyes, us becoming an issue (we are not covered in scales, we're people, with gifts and greatness like any other). If church is to be a community that is family, it needs to include everyone - the married, the single, the grandparent, the child, the weird cousin that everyone would like to avoid but knows they shouldn't.... 

And when your minister is single, just check they're OK occasionally. And when they're not, avoid those sad eyes, and walk with them - because even those who appear strong need a (normally metaphorical) hug sometimes. 

"The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mentioned and the parts we don't, the parts we see and the parts we don't. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance" 
1 Corinthians 12:25-26 The Message

Inn Church?

In the 1881 census my Great Great Granddad Joseph Christopher Wright (from now on JC) was staying at an inn in the hamlet of Nosterfield (which was about seven miles from his home near the village of Healey in North Yorkshire). I've always wondered why he was there on census night. Had he had a bit too much to drink and taken a bed for the night? Was he going home from a journey or heading out on one? Was he seeing friends? Was he working? Was he there for only one night or had he been there a while? 

The inn in Nosterfield JC probably stayed

I won't ever know the answer but that doesn't stop the intrigue. The role of inns at that time was interesting - they were a way point - a place of rest on a journey. They were places where the community gathered, often having some kind of communal dining room. They were places of food and lodging - places of sustenance for the weary traveller, whether they stayed one night or were there for weeks. Travellers would have probably been invited to eat with the more permanent community and join for a while... I wonder whether JC had been invited in in this way. 

The oldest inns were established by monks, who have a history and culture of hospitality - welcoming the stranger in.... hospitality is key in the ministry of many monastic communities to this day. After the dissolution of the monasteries the nicer inns survived, but the ones that were for poor pilgrims were far more likely to close. These inns came into their own as people began to travel more for work (like perhaps JC did .....?) and became places of sanctuary and rest for those on a journey. 

Inns are places that intrigue - places with stories to tell. There are many stories written throughout history that include inns - dark stories, horror stories, stories of safety... love stories..... life changing stories. When you enter an old inn you often see stories on the wall - like the story of the Bible at the White Horse Inn at the foot of Blencathra in the Lake District (a place with excellent food) where legend has it that if it is removed bad things happen, and now after the pub was flooded it stays firmly in its locked cupboard.... I wonder what stories JC heard that night in 1881?

Over the last few years I have become more and more passionate about churches as communities of hospitality. If church is to be just that, then perhaps an image of a church that might be helpful could be that of an inn. All those values that came out of the early monasteries, where strangers were not simply nodded to, but were welcomed in to stay and eat and sleep, might be something we might endeavour to imitate. Perhaps those who pass by our buildings, our places of worship, our activities and even our homes might become those travellers to welcome in as they seek a place to rest. 

If church was like an inn, we would celebrate its history through the stories we tell. Stories of our past, stories of our founding, stories of people we have met on the way. Stories of why there are certain things we hold particularly dear and stories of when life has been really difficult. Stories that inspire and stories that we learn from.... when we know our story we can tell it to the people we encounter on their way. 

If church was like an inn, then it would be a true community gathering place; not just for the centre core, but for the strangers we meet on the way. The dining room would perhaps be an attractive and intriguing place to be for those who stay for a short while as well as those who become more long term residents. Perhaps the voices of the short-term stayers - the travellers - might inspire us to see something of where God is leading us as they encounter different things on their way.

If church was like an inn, it would be a resting place - a place of sanctuary - for the weary traveller. It would be a place where true rest could be found. It would be a place where the traveller could be restored and fed. It perhaps would be a resting place that became a place of belonging on the way. 

If church was like an inn it would contain all sorts of people - the core staff who make the inn feel like home, whose lives are based in the community and who make sure that there is a warm place to gather - the guests who pop in for a moment, but quickly leave again, having eaten and drunk, only to return another day for a while longer - the long term residents who came for a while for work or for play and then chose to stay.... It would contain the troublemakers in the corner who need to calm down and the jokers round the bar who are inappropriate at times.... the thinkers, the doers, the sleepers, the dancers.

If church was like an inn it would be both home and place of pause, both sanctuary and sustenance, a place to belong and a place to stay.... and Jesus would be sat at a table sharing His story through the lives of those who were part of the community that gathered from all ways and none.... 


(if you are interested in reading about inns here is where I got some of my info) 

On being (not) young

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young...."   1 Timothy 4:12a

Young me

I used to take that verse and make it my own. I used to take that verse and use it to remind me that God had called me to do what I was doing..... preaching, leading, seeking to try and follow him. 

But I don't any more. Because I am not young anymore. There are other verses that affirm me in my calling, in where I am going and in who I am in God. 

However, there are a number of people who look on me as that young one who has been called by God - not in a looking down on me sort of way but as an encouragement to them that young ones are coming through. 

Before snapchat you had to
paint your face green and
wear an optic fibre lamp in
your hair to give a similar
effect

But the thing is, I am not young. I am just too old to be called a millenial, never mind whatever comes after that. I don't understand snapchat and the use of snapchat filters causes me to frown like the way people used to frown at my generation when people were buying trolls and dummies (what were those plastic dummies about?). I went off to uni (first time) 20 years ago and I have peers from school who have 4 children (some of whom are teenagers and above) and others who are now Grandparents. I am getting to the age where the possibility of being able to have children is sliding away and I now wake up aching rather than jump out of bed (to be honest, I've never been a jumper out of bed). 

And while I know that what constitutes young is very much determined by the culture of the room and situation, the meaning of young is defined in community.... I'm getting increasingly worried about our perception of young in churches. 

If I am a young one, a youth, a fresh faced voice into the mix, then I think we've found one of the answers as to why churches have the so-called 'missing generation' (I'm even almost too old for that now) - 20s and 30s are missing from our churches - why is that? Perhaps its because we forgot to treat them as adults, we treated them as youth until they were so far beyond youth they were almost pensioners. We humoured their ideas and ways forward, but we never took them seriously. We made some token changes, but we did not recognise the need for radical overhaul as life changed and the so called young moved on. 

And for many, because of this, church has become a tradition to be nodded to rather than a living and active spiritual house. And that, very much, is a problem..... and we need to change.

 

Tent Pitching - Some Thursday Night Dream

After spending an afternoon dreaming of what we could do, and then an evening frustrated at what we can't, I was reminded of one of my favourite quotes......

"A church which pitches its tents without constantly looking out for new horizons, which does not continually strike camp, is being untrue to its calling.... [we must] play down our longing for certainty, accept that which is risky, and live by improvisation and experimentation" - Hans Kung 

Just imagine if we lived and moved like this - constantly looking forward, constantly looking onward, not settling but dreaming, determined to follow in the ways of Jesus, without dragging our feet or digging our heels in. How different things might be..... 

You only live once, carpe diem, seize the day…… before it whistles by. Be unbound by the binds of institution and of fear and of comfort and of self consciousness, because there is more beyond….  So much more….. 

“God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us” - Ephesians 3:20

World Famous Market Theology

I live in Bury - I don't normally say that because Ramsbottom is one on its own - it's a unique and sparkly bohemian enclave of surprises - but it's in Bury (despite what some people might like to argue and think). 

Bury as a borough is diverse, and in Bury town centre that diversity comes together in all its sometimes bizarre, often confusing, always beautiful, glory. I rarely leave Bury having not been surprised by what I have witnessed. Last weeks visit did not disappoint, as I walked up from the car garage, leaving my car to be serviced, I had the chance to spend more time there then I normally do.... with the slightly off key x-factor wannabe on the main street and the arrival of a new building to draw attention away from the shops left empty because of the aspiration of a town that tries really hard. 

Bury is famous for a couple of things. It's famous for its Black Pudding and it's also famous for its market. World famous actually. Sitting at the back of the second nicest shopping centre out of the two in the town, it stands proud as signs point to the coach pick up point where coaches gather to wonder why this trip is taken by so many from extreme parts of the country to this market in this town where things you could buy in most other small towns just like Bury (apart from the black pudding of course) can be bought. 

As I had a bit of time of unknown length last week to shuffle around Bury I thought I'd give it a go. For the second time in six years I entered the market. I shifted myself away from the meat hall and the fish hall (I've always avoided fish halls in markets) and I wandered, taking it all in. 

And as I wandered I wondered... what is it about this market that everyone loves? It's no different to the markets I grew up with. The clothes are the same. The shops with the biggest bags of sweets you've ever seen are the same. The stalls selling random gifts and velcro slippers and trainers with one letter changed in the name... they're the same. There is a nod to changes in the world as the phone case stall shines out with its jewel backed cases and the Christmas novelty wine jumpers of 2017 have pride of place at the front of the stall.... 

But nothing has changed..... so what is then the attraction of the world famous market?  

It tells of a time that was. As the world moves on, the old school weighing and measuring, the paying in cash, the sounds and smells of the market, it reminds us of how this country used to be. It reminds us of a time when it was simpler - when there were two TV channels and it was rare to have a home phone. It reminds us of the golden age that we look through with our rose tinted glasses and elevate higher than high can be. 

Nostalgia is not a bad thing, because the past is our story, the past is what makes us, the past is how we became the people we are today. The movement in the past helps influence us in the future.

But when nostalgia leaves us in a place where the world famous market is as good as it gets....? When nostalgia becomes a bubble where we're dropped off at the entrance and picked up after a walk round, not daring to leave the world famous part just in case the bubble pops..?

As I reflected on love of the world famous market, and how it would have once been the centre of Bury life,  I thought about church, and our love for the nostalgia of church as centre of society and how that influences the way in which we do many things. If we do this, people will come.... why? Well, we're world famous. 

But we're not, we live in exile, so often only turned to for nostalgic coach trips at weddings and christenings and as visitor attractions and quickly left behind with a bag of goodies (well not even that) to sustain on the journey home. As church sits on the margins of society, then just like it will with the world famous market, it is going to take out of the box thinking and imagination to journey into the future. 

Good job we worship a God who is a God of out the box thinking. This is God who didn't defeat evil with force and strength, but with vulnerability and death. This is God who brought fire in the upper room and gave the disciples the ability to talk in other languages so that they could spread the message to the world who didn't understand the words they spoke. This is God who is world famous because he made and saved the world. 

This is God. 

This is God who calls us to listen, and to leave everything behind and follow him. 

As the market continues to be world famous and separates itself as a museum in itself, continuing to be what was and will continue to be, and as we continue to hold it up high as how things shoulda-oughta be, we need to keep reminding ourselves to stop and look around and imagine and wonder.....  

Because how things have always been cannot be how they forever continue to be.

Road Closed for Repairs

Big Ben chimes for the last time until 2021, apart from the times it will chime, today. MPs are having a special moment to mourn this terrible loss to the sound of London. The tabloids are devastated. How can this be? 

This sign of stability. This sign of how things always are. This sign of how things always have been. It's going to lie silent. In mourning. It's bowing to health and safety. Why can't the people working on it's restoration live each day in fear of being struck by a swinging bell or of being deafened by its peal? 

This is the end. Life as we know it will never be the same again. 

We cling on and hope for a better outcome that keeps things the same as they have always been. We build a wall so the future cannot come and we barricade ourselves in, shut the doors, keep the cold out, leave the change where it should be... out there. 

Last week I was on holiday in Alnwick and to get to our holiday home we had to walk up the alleyways, but one alleyway was blocked. It had this on the end:

The juxtaposition of the Road Closed sign next to the church sign (the denomination doesn't matter - take it as church) prickled my bloggage antennae as I considered what this picture says about church today. What roads have we closed so, despite the arrows pointing and despite the big buildings that stand proud in the community the bridge has been blocked, the wall has been been built, the door has been shut?

When the stability of tradition is rocked, we hold on for dear life. One barrier to change is erected. 

When new arrivals in church mean we have to rearrange, move the chairs, burn the pews, move our seats, make space, we sit and sing 'we shall not be moved'. One barrier to change is erected. 

When we'd like the new people to come, but not the mess it creates, we cut back, we opt out and the event planned collapses. One barrier to change is erected. 

When the organ is silenced because repairs would mean no mission budget this year, we question the distribution of money, we repair the organ and we sing hymns of our own pleasing. One barrier to change is erected. 

When we hear of people struggling to eat, to exist, to live, and we offer help, but only out there, not in here, avoiding mess, avoiding chaos, avoiding becoming fools like the papers say we must be. One barrier to change is erected.

When the people walk past whose identity and lifestyle challenges what we have always thought and believed we lock the doors and hide, hoping not to be challenged and to have to even contemplate a wave. One barrier to change is erected. 

When we bad mouth those who are different, when we leave them in squalor, when we label them as alien, not wanted right here. One barrier to change is erected. 

When we mourn the silencing of the bells and refuse to condemn blatant all out racism. One barrier to change is erected. 

The signs of stability. The signs of how things always are. The signs of how things always have been. They're not there any more. 

This is the end. Life as we know it will never be the same again. 

And we cling on and hope for a better outcome that keeps things the same as they have always been. We build a wall so the future cannot come and we barricade ourselves in, shut the doors, keep the cold out, leave the change where it should be... out there. 

But....

We need to let go, break down the barriers, let the arrows point a way that is wide open and moving....let the arrows point to the Kingdom of God. 

Big Ben is still there. Big Ben hasn't gone away. We'll still hear the chimes. The tradition and the significance of that bell hasn't been negated as it is being repaired, it's being honoured. 

The traditions of the church have not gone away because the ways of being church have changed. We'll still have the stories and the lessons learnt. We'll still have many of the buildings and the hymns. The traditions of the church are a beautiful thing that we can honour... but that doesn't mean we need to hold on so tight. 

The barriers we put up? They're what close the road... and when that road is closed..... however many signs we put up, and arrows we point, however many fancy new initiatives we try, that road remains closed until we choose to take them down..... and if we leave it too late, there will be nothing to see. 

A Doctor, A Handmaid and a Lady Vicar

Doctor Who? A Woman? Surely not.... 

Last night as the news about the new Doctor Who came out and as people reacted with distaste, celebration and indifference, I was watching The Handmaid's Tale. The episode ended with June (or Offred - her Handmaid name - Of Fred - belonging to Fred) playing the music box she had been given by her mistress. It's one of those music boxes with a twirling ballerina. 

As June watches the box she reflects on how the ballerina can only dance when somebody else opens the box. It's an allegory of her life. I won't give too much away, just in case you haven't seen that episode yet, but she is only allowed out of the box of her role as a handmaid when her master or mistress allow. 

And she says, determined and focused....

"I will not be that girl in the box". 

Margaret Atwood who wrote The Handmaid's Tale, said that she made a rule for herself when she wrote it - that she "....would not include anything in it that human beings had not already done in some other place or time, or for which the technology did not already exist".  The book (which I've read at least 3 times) and the series, even without being read or watched in the light of this, makes for disturbing reading and viewing. The TV series is an adaptation which draws away from some of the book's narrative, but it has the same centre, the same fear, the same ability to make you uncomfortable in your seat as you have been the one who has not spoken out against injustice and the subjugation of women; not spoken out against genocide and cruel acts done in the name of 'what is right and proper'; not spoken out against misogynistic culture that puts women in boxes and only enables them to dance with permission....

But what has this got to do with Doctor Who? 

Well to be honest, I only made the link, because when I tweeted June's last words in the episode, someone tweeted back and said that my tweet was at odds with the message he was hearing from Doctor Who - referring to the new Doctor Who and what will be her tendency to fly around time in a big blue box. I reflected back that actually perhaps it could be more at odds with those who are horrified that a woman could be the doctor. 

There is nothing to say that the doctor couldn't be a woman, yet the controversy around the possibility and now the reality is (probably not unsurprisingly) one that has made a number of self claimed die hard Doctor Who fans (men and women) feel so uncomfortable they have declared their intentions never to watch it again. The doctor has always been a (white) man and will always be a man... end of. 

The issue I have with this is not an argument about the possible gender of Doctor Who, as to be honest, I don't really care, but is that the argument has come from a place that over history has put some people (women in particular, but this isn't the only issue) in a box that is only allowed to be opened when the owner wants the ballerina to dance. 

It is in the story of the female lorry driver I met in tears outside a local farm shop because she didn't know whether she could carry on anymore because she didn't feel safe around the male lorry drivers who treated her with contempt because she was a woman. 

It is in the story I heard on Radio 4 last week about the low percentage of train drivers who are female (5.4% on the London Underground in 2016) and what a novelty it is to have a female at the controls. 

It is in the story I heard of the church which, to call a woman into a leadership role had to change the title from minister or pastor so they could get round the ingrained culture that was rife within the congregation without losing the so-called stalwarts and good givers of the church. 

It's in my story too, and, if you talk to any other female minister, is likely to be in their story. It's sadly in the story of church (this article by Mark Woods details this and the link to Doctor Who further...). It's in the churches that won't have a woman minister, not for any reason but 'ministers have always been male'. It's in the churches that had an unsuccessful female pastor (whatever that means) and have vowed never to have one again (because all women are like that). It's in the look of surprise when I say what I do and the exclamation of 'I've never met a lady vicar before' (I ain't no lady vicar thank you very much). 

Both the treatment of women in The Handmaid's Tale and the surprise (and horror) of the new female Doctor, in their own ways, put a spotlight on the inequality within our society where culture and tradition is seemingly unmovable..... 

It also echoes the culture within our churches where tradition and theological views are so embedded and entwined (where we read our Bible with 'what has always been done' spectacles), that any change, any shift, any opening of the gate is seemingly impossible because it will rock our world and we will lose control. 

So instead of letting go of what has always been, we create boxes, which are opened, but only when we can deal with it, and only if, if we don't like it, we are able to close them again.... and if we really don't like it, we'll close them, lock them, and throw away the key. 


(I read this blog where the author writes a little more concisely about church and boxes and not being put into them.....worth a read!)

Baptist Cake.... as you do

A couple of weeks ago in the Baptist Collaboration group on facebook where we discuss all things Baptist and all other things to... well when I say we, I'm normally lingering in the background listening in. I'm one of them... a lurker.... 

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago in that group someone asked what would Baptist cake look like....? All sorts of suggestions came in and I considered getting involved considering I love being Baptist and I like all things cake.... but I didn't... but then someone (no names!) then tagged me into the conversation as someone who knows.... 

Not to avoid a challenge when it comes to cake baking, I decided to take up the challenge to come up with the ultimate in Baptist cakes. I wanted to combine this with my habit of making fairy cakes that taste a bit like sweets.... (although one of the cakes is not a sweet, but hey ho...).  

Now I am one of those Baptists who loves what unites us - our Declaration of Principle, which is at the bottom of this post. There are some people who get a bit embarrassed by it and the fact that we have to say we love it when we get ordained.... but I love it... it's part of the reason I'm excited to say I am Baptist. It's three things that to be a member of the Baptist Union of Great Britain and to say it's 'our union' that you kind of have to agree with. As this is what is common to all of my brand of Baptists then I decided to base the cakes around this. You might call me weird or a bit of a geek... but this is me.... Here goes.....

Baptist Cakes 1 - Revels Cakes

Revels are like the Russian Roulette of chocolates... you never know quite what you are going to get.. (although it's got easier because they got rid of the peanuts and made them different shapes) but one thing unites them - chocolate!

It's the same with Baptist Churches. The first part of the Declaration of Principle says that Jesus is the sole and absolute authority in all matters of faith and practice (like the chocolate), as revealed in scripture which is interpreted with the help of the Holy Spirit by the local church.  

Every Baptist church is different because we all have slightly different ways of doing stuff - but there is one thing that unites us - that's that we can say Jesus is Lord.... or wear chocolate, like the revels. 

Baptist Cakes 2 - Coffee Drizzle

Drizzle was not the most popular choice on Baptist collaboration -we're called Baptist because we like to get wet and the argument was drizzle is a bit pathetic - however if you drizzle properly and make a massive mess as I do you get very wet...... that's why it's my choice! The second part of the Declaration of Principle is about baptism - that baptism is for believers, by full immersion, in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. 

I chose coffee drizzle - not a sweet, but a drink..... because I know I am not alive without that first cup of coffee in the morning.... and baptism is about declaring publicly that we are alive in Jesus.... Coffee changes me... so does faith. 

Baptist Cakes 3 - Sherbet Fountains

I love sherbet fountains - the way they explode, the taste of the liquorice - the way they get everywhere. The third part of the Declaration of Principle says that it is every believers' responsibility to go out and tell the world about about Jesus - to explode with the good news like Sherbet and get everywhere. I added stars because shining like stars is part of that - twinkling brightly..... 

So there you go.... Baptist cake. Feel free to disagree as that's a very Baptist thing to do.

Lovely. 

Declaration of Principle

The Basis of the Baptist Union is:

1. That our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, God manifest in the flesh, is the sole and absolute authority in all matters pertaining to faith and practice, as revealed in the HolyScriptures, and that each Church has liberty, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, to interpret and administer His laws.

2. That Christian Baptism is the immersion in water into the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, of those who have professed repentance towards God and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ who 'died for our sins according to the Scriptures; was buried, and rose again the third day'.

3. That it is the duty of every disciple to bear personal witness to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and to take part in the evangelisation of the world.

From 

http://www.baptist.org.uk/Groups/220595/Declaration_of_Principle.aspx