Women are flippin ace, don’t you think?

This week has been a week for celebrating women. 

I had the privilege of being invited to talk to a class of ministerial students about my experience and call as a female minister. I talked about how female ministerial role models are still few and far between and those women and men who have walked beside me when it’s all been really tough. 

I heard that a book of liturgy (Gathering the Crumbs) written by female baptist ministers that I’ve contributed to and have been involved in editing is off to to the printers with a first run of 1000 books (so exciting). 

And today I’ve had the pleasure of spending time with women from my community who are doing some amazing and inspirational things as we celebrated international women’s day. 

Women are flippin ace, don’t you think? 

This Sunday is International Women’s Day when women first save the date of 19th November into their head so they know the answer to the inevitable when is men’s day question before it’s even asked, and secondly we take time out to affirm and encourage, celebrate and inspire one another as we make our voices heard above the sounds of every day life where most of us are just getting on with what we need to be getting on with.

Why do we need to bother with such a day? Surely women are celebrated enough these days? 

Well.....

Recently an article was released by the UN called “Women’s Rights in Review.....” which looks at what’s happened for women across the world in the past 25 years - has the situation improved? 

Maybe a little bit, but not enough, and far too slow, says the report..... in fact in some places we’re going backwards..... 

In parliaments across the world the male-female split is 75%-25% (in the UK parliament 34% are women, 27% in the cabinet). 

32 million girls are still not in school, only less than two thirds of women have access to paid work (compare to 93% of men) and nearly 1 in 5 women encounter domestic violence. 

Inequality, climate change, conflict and politics that exclude all take women away from the tables of decision making. 

Those are just the headlines. 

If women are as ace as the stories I’ve heard this week tell, then more needs to be done. 

If women are as ace as the female Baptist ministers I know there should be more than 3 or 4 women at the larger churches conference, more than one female regional team leader and more than 16% of women as ministers. There would be equality in pay and less invisible glass boundaries. 

I live in a community where women appear to be leading the way for change. I serve in a church that has always celebrated and enabled women. I minister in a movement of churches that had passed the centenary of women entering training for ordained ministry. I am privileged, but even in my privileged position I feel the tiredness from hearing again and again stories of women stopped in their tracks simply because they’re women. 

So this women’s day, look around, listen....  because there are many more stories to tell, many more women who need to be set free to live life in all its fullness, many more women who we all might need to step aside for so they can reach the places to which they are called and so many amazing women to celebrate. 

Women are flippin ace, don’t you think? 

Eve and all Women

It was Eve wasn’t it, who ate the apple (well actually fruit) from the tree and is to blame for all the brokenness in the world today?

One woman, one mistake, watch out for women - they’ll lead you astray. 

It’s Eve’s fault. 

It was Maggie wasn’t it, who closed the pits, who divided our country, who left communities with nothing and is surely to blame for many of our issues today? 

One woman, give her power, look what happens when women get into leadership positions. Never again. 

It’s Eve’s fault. 

It was Wallis wasn’t it, who caught the eye of the King, and lured him away with promises of a better life and left the country bereft?

One woman, one temptress, watch out for her looks - she’ll take away the world you were called to. 

It’s Eve’s fault. 

It was Meghan wasn’t it, who married  a prince and turned him against his family - brother against brother in an attempt to bring down the institution?

One woman, standing up for a different way for her family - watch out for the foreign woman - she’ll lead you astray. 

It’s Eve’s fault. 

It was Amy wasn’t it, who one night got dressed up to go out with friends, and woke up in the morning in a strange bed, sore and broken and ashamed? 

One woman, asking for it - she deserves what she gets. 

It’s Eve’s fault. 

It was Melody wasn’t it, who we took a risk in calling and messed up the church with a wild ways and off the wall ideas, leaving us broken and bereft?

One woman, I told you so - women preachers are no more. 

It’s Eve’s fault. 

It’s Eve’s fault - in her eyes we see all women, in her actions we see evil, in her punishment we see a call to never allow it again....

So woman - sit down - take the punishment your ancestor brought upon you, for you haven’t learned your place yet. 

And it’s Eve’s fault. 

But Jesus says to the Samaritan woman bring me a drink and she discovers new life

But Jesus says to the woman bleeding - go your faith has made you well

But Jesus writes in the sand as the woman stands in fear.....

Stop blaming Eve. Stop blaming Eve. 

Children of the Revolution? Perhaps....

Last Friday I went to see 'On the Basis of Sex' - a film that tells the real life story of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The film begins in her first year of Harvard Law School; her husband, Martin, a second year student, falls ill with cancer and she goes to both his classes and hers whilst also looking after her young daughter. The film tells the story of how difficult it was for Ruth to be respected within the legal community and she struggles to get a job as a lawyer, going on to become a professor instead, specialising in Sex Discrimination and the Law. This is in the 60s and 70s, and the idea of sex discrimination is only just beginning to be engaged with, but not necessarily taken seriously. She went on to challenge gender discrimination in US law, taking each law one by one and campaigning for the equality of women and men in law.

I won't say much more about the film - I knew nothing about Ruth Bader Ginsburg before watching it, but the film really inspired and resonated with me, not least because of the challenges that she faced and the arguments against her becoming a 'real lawyer'. The arguments against her are ones I have heard so many times as a female minister - how would she look after her family, women are too emotional to be lawyers, women's voices don't need to be listened to.... and she wasn't taken seriously - just a professor - just a wife - a homemaker - just a woman.... not enough to be anything. Yet she kept pacing onward and had a massive impact on US law and culture. 

It's 100 years this year since the first Baptist woman entered college to be trained for ordination. It's 25 years since the first CofE women were ordained as priests. Last year was 100 years since women got the vote..... yet still we have to put up with challenges to our very identity in private, in public, in so many ways. Priests who happen to be women have campaigned on twitter recently with the hashtag #justapriest standing up for the day when they wouldn't be called women priests by default, or lady vicar, or....lady minister, lady pastor.... The Baptists Together Women in Ministry celebratory edition has been censored in our churches because the voices of women who we disagree with are better shut down before anyone thinks about what they are saying too deeply. The arguments against Ruth Bader Ginsburg becoming a 'proper lawyer' are still arguments used today. And they're wrong.

I sat down to begin to write my sermon - week 5 of #doyouknowHim? Jesus: Revolutionary and I began to think about the film I watched last Friday, T-Rex  and what I have experienced in my first 7 and a half years of ministry, and I chewed a little on what Jesus would do.....

And I thought about the stories of women who encountered Jesus. And I thought about my exciting new book 'The Infographic Bible' which has two pages dedicated to women of influence in the Bible and how radical it is for a mainstream Christian book to have so many pages particularly focused on women (I recently attended a conference with a ridiculously male dominated bookstall reflecting the attendees of the conference itself I guess) and how that shouldn't be radical. And I thought.... if we are really following Jesus the revolutionary - why do we so often leave aside his treatment of women? His treatment of women was revolutionary. Valued as people, affirmed as leaders and as learners, identified as friends, sent out to testify, first to encounter him resurrected.... and so much more. 

#doyouknowHim? is a massive question, and one important part of that question is answered in looking at the way he treated those who were different to him - and the way he treated women in particular - and I believe that if we really knew him, and we really knew how he treated women and how revolutionary that was, we wouldn't still have people in our churches who seek to undermine and challenge and shout out simply on the basis of sex. 

The Woman in the Shed

Last week I visited the childhood home of Mary Arden, mother of William Shakespeare with my friend and her two girls. It was a farm not far from Stratford, full of tourists (probably not at the time of Shakespeare) and farm animals and birds including some very beautiful ginger piglets (their mother, however, did not provide them much hope that in the future that they would keep their looks).

Fluffy Ginger Pig

As often happens at these places, there were various people re-enacting traditional crafts - a falconer who spent a lot of time hiding from school coach parties, a man with a long beard and an axe chopping wood and a woman who showed us how to spin wool. We learnt the words tozer and carder and nobbly bobbly (or something like that - that's actually an ice lolly) and others I can't remember. 

But one stuck with me - and what stuck with me was not the word, but her interpretation of what the word meant in the era she was currently spinning wool in. 

Spinster. 

A word, that for many, and for so long for me has been held up as an unwanted state - an old woman past her best who barks as people walk up to her - a woman 'beyond the usual age for marriage' (whatever that is)... perhaps, in many people's eyes... me? (I'm grumpy, single, set in my ways....). At the time the woman who was spinning was working, it was the unmarried women who would be working as spinsters, which is where the word comes from and why it refers to women who are unmarried. 

Even in the time that the spinster was supposedly working, she would have been seen as odd. Shakespeare referred to a phrase in popular use at the time that said that women who died unmarried would lead apes to hell (I'm glad nobody has used that one on me when they have been opposed to my calling as a minister who happens to be a woman!). The purpose of a woman is to be married, and any who are not are... well.... destined for something. 

However, the way the woman who was spinning in Mary Arden's house described the word spinster made me stop and think. She said that spinsters led the way for women to be independent today. She talked nothing of falling into the way of life that meant she had to spin to survive, but talked about choice, that being a spinster wasn't inevitable but was something else. She talked about how spinning made it possible for the spinster to provide for herself, to live comfortably and to give her purpose where society said she had none because she had no husband or children. 

Language is important, and the way that the word 'spinster' has been used across the centuries has not been good. Spinsters are incomplete, lacking and directionless and are left to be living a life of terrible loneliness. My first (guilty) port of call for any info wikipedia is incredibly negative in its description of spinsters, reflecting the language of the world around. 

Although we have moved so far on from then, and so far on the attitudes in society that leave unmarried women as oddities, the shadows live on. When I hear language of 'taking off the shelf' and rescuing her from singleness. When I hear people say that I will only be satisfied when I have a husband and children... the shadows of the expectations of 16th century England overshadow the independence and forward thinking nature of my spinsterhood as described by the woman in Mary Arden's shed. 

When I read scripture, although they are few and far between, it doesn't take long to find stories of independent women who have, whether married or not, gone on and served God in big ways with the support of their families (or not!) and the community around them - Miriam, Ruth, Esther, Deborah, Rahab, Lydia, Priscilla, Phoebe, Salome, Joanna, Mary Magdalene and more.... we might not hear about them much, and some of them are tarnished with brushes that are as unfair (and more) as tarnishing the spinster with the 'useless, frazzled and odd' brush, but they're there, living faithfully, serving God and making an impact. 

That spinster in the shed - choosing to live independently in a society that thought she shouldn't. That Mary Magdalene - choosing to preach the good news in a world that didn't necessarily believe her. That unmarried woman - choosing to stay unmarried and pursue her dreams. Why label her as bad? Why label her as wrong? Why undermine her direction? 

I came away from that trip to Mary Arden's house wanting to reclaim the word 'spinster', but then I found out that attempts have been made to do that already, and they've not necessarily worked. However, we can work to continue to change our attitudes towards independent women (whether married or not), helping to get rid of those 16th century shadows and embrace us for who we are and what we choose to be. 

I take my inspiration from those women in scripture, those women who have walked before me, those women who have stood up against the status quo, and so many brilliant women I know today .... and I walk on, attempting to live faithfully, serving God and hopefully making some kind of impact.  

"Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days" Joel 2:29

An encounter with a woman

It's International Women's Day on Thursday 8th March, and since I am going off to ministers conference (where only 16% of the attendees are women - a reflection I think on the proportions of women ministers in Baptist churches in the North West Baptist Association - but hey ho, I think the proportion of women attending is more than last year) and I am busy until Thursday, I thought I'd use the waiting time before heading off to blog (well, actually re-writing a sermon from a couple of weeks ago) in honour of International Women's Day. 

A satirical photo from 1901, with the caption "New Woman—Wash Day".

It's an important year for women - and I've said a little bit about that already on this blog... 

It's 100 years since some women got the vote in this country. At the same time all men over the age of 21 were given the right to vote. 40% of women were and it wasn't until 1928 that all women were able to vote in the UK. 

It's 100 years since Edith Gates became the first woman to be recognised as being in pastoral charge of an English Baptist Church. They weren't really sure what to call her. Secretary? Pastor? Gatecrasher? And weren't convinced that she should be paid properly or have the same rights as male ministers... but she pioneered the way for me today. 

Did you know that between 1918 and 2015 a total of 450 women were elected as members of the House of Commons which is fewer than the number of men (459) who were elected to the 2015 parliament (source wikipedia (sorry about that!)).

Last year, in 2017 a president was inaugurated in the US who openly who laughed off foul locker room talk about women and ran a campaign that was largely about discrediting his female opponent #nastywoman. He is supported by large proportions of the American evangelical church. 

In the same year, the stories of women who had been abused by men in trusted positions came out under the hashtag of #metoo and, while many listened, the media, the voices of those who couldn't comprehend rang out loud and clear as they shouted these people down. 

A few weeks ago, the news came out about Iranian women stood at the side of the road, their compulsory hijabs held out on sticks to protest being told what to wear and they were arrested. 

And don't get me started on lady crisps. 

2000 years ago, Jesus sat down with a Samaritan Woman at Jacob's well in the middle of the day and he sent her out as a witness to who he was. And that made his disciples a bit grumbly (click on link to read story). 

How far have we come? Have the grumbles stopped? No. Are women's voices valued and their testimonies seen as valid? Sadly, not as much as they should be. 

Are women worth listening to?

Well Jesus, in this story, shows us, yes.... a big fat yes. 

Jesus speaks to the woman and he sends out the woman... John the gospel writer records it. Her story matters. Women's voices matter. They are to be listened to, they are to be valued, they are to be acted upon and it's all in this story.

Jesus comes to the woman and asks her for help - he asks her for water from the well - he values her service. He values the fact that she has what he needs. When we encounter those whose voices we don't value, then we often don't value what they have to offer either. The Samaritan Woman had something that Jesus didn't just want, but needed, and he came and asked for help. 

When we read this story, we tend to assume that the power is all with Jesus, but in his need, Jesus gives the power to continue the encounter with the woman. He doesn't force his company on her and she is not a #nastywoman trying to worm her way into a Jewish man's world, but is someone who can solve his immediate needs. When we worry about people undermining our status and changing this world we live in, perhaps we need to step back and ask why we are threatened by them... Jesus wasn't threatened by the presence of the Samaritan Woman at the well (and she wasn't threatened by his presence either). 

Jesus values that woman as he shares something of himself. He offers her living water that will change her life. "A Jewish teacher offers living water to a Samaritan woman" - it's almost a Daily Fail shock headline. He offers it not because he wants anything, but because he values her and her life. Jesus values women.... and he values her so much that she opens up to him. He kind of values her into telling the truth. Her witness gains credibility because she is not afraid to tell the truth - she is not a woman of fake news - she doesn't hide who she is but shares who she is. She is who she is, and Jesus values that as he crosses the border of Jewish man and Samaritan Woman with her.

When we are in a privileged position - where we have control of who matters and who doesn't. then Jesus shows us that it is our responsibility to enable the border crossing so those people who 'don't matter' can be liberated. A few years ago on my first minister's conference we asked for men to be advocates to enable women to be released into leadership... that was the first step to increasing that 16%.... I am hoping that those advocates have not stopped being committed to this.... 

Who would you trust as a key witness? Someone who tells the truth and whose voice is valued - and Jesus sends the Samaritan woman who does and is just that. Her voice matters, far above and beyond her gender and ethnicity, her witness is valuable. She was entrusted in telling others because because of what she said and people wanted to find out more. And her witness to Jesus and her mutual respect and trust for one another liberated her and gave her freedom to be a truth teller within her community. Jesus transformed her life. Jesus transforms our lives by taking away the chains of shame and sin and setting us free to live a life of truth and dignity. 

On International Women's Day 2018, it gives us an opportunity, yet again, to think about how we as individuals and as a society and world treat women. The Samaritan woman, whatever the interpretation has been, is held up as an example of how women should be treated - we see that in the value that Jesus gives the woman's testimony. Her voice matters. So when we (whether deliberately or without realising it) silence women's voices, we have missed something of what Jesus has done. 

The silencers of my own voice have come from inside and outside the church... they've come from other ministers at minister's conference. They have come from the voices of my own church members. They have come from arguments on facebook about lady size portions of chips. A woman's witness is not valid when a man is available to speak. 

However Jesus chooses the witness of a woman over his disciples in this instance. Jesus says yes, women's voices are important - listen - she has something to say. 

Jesus says yes. The woman's testimony is valid. Through her service, her actions matter; through her life, her value matters; through her honesty, her truth telling matters; through her witness, her story matters. 

Women getting the vote matters. Women being enabled and encouraged as ministers - it matters. Women being able to lead in places they have never led before - it matters. Women's stories being listened to - it matters. Women's protests being reported on - it matters. Women telling the truth of their liberation in Christ - it matters. 

International Women's Day - it matters. 

On the 8th March, instead of shrugging it off as something for someone else... step back and listen... because the stories that are told, the women that are honoured....

They matter. 

We matter. 

It matters. 

On Bishops, disagreements, the Bible and me

I've watched with interest the discussions about female bishops in the Church of England this week. I've also been reading some people's comments on it. Most of my friends are supportive, celebratory or silent. 

But then... there are those voices that are none of these. Those that think women should be silent in church. Those that think women in ministry is a great big fat sin. Those that point to Eve as the temptress and say 'this is why'. I get that other people have different views. I understand where they have coming from. What I don't understand is where when I disagree with them they think I haven't thought it through. I haven't commented this time. The arguments make me tired. They question who I am and who I am called to be without talking to me about my story. They assume I am a flaky sort of Christian who doesn't believe in much really. 

The thing is, as I read the Bible. As I wrestle with the really hard stuff in the light of Christ I see God as one who values women, gifts women, puts them in places where society wouldn't put them. I see women leading churches, women who are top in business, female deacons, female apostles, female world changers. 

I know your argument but I don't get your refusal to listen. You say you are open to change but you won't engage in conversation. You just keep shouting. 

The thing is, my gender does not define what role I can take, but God does. God has made me who I am. He has given me the gifts he has given me. He has made me very capable. 

I like baking, I hate cleaning, I can't sew. I'll happily shift furniture and build flat packs. I love driving and I have good spatial awareness (apart from when it comes to door handles). I'm not at home making drinks, washing up, arranging flowers and teaching small children. I'm a leader, a preacher and as stubborn as stubborn can be. I am single. I'm likely not to get married. I'm OK with that. I am not missing anything but a bit of self discipline when it comes to savoury snacks.

What I do know in all of this is that God made me who I am. I love his word, I wrestle with it regularly. I thirst for knowing more. I want to be true to it. I want to serve God the best I possibly can. I believe I am called to lead a church. 

So please think before you speak. Your words hurt. Your words question who I am in Christ. Disagree by all means, but disagree with grace and take me seriously.

(For discussions that might be helpful, Rachel Held Evans comes from an American evangelical background. She writes a lot about gender and the Bible. Her blog can be found here http://rachelheldevans.com). 

For the love of a song

Sometimes when I am stressed or at a loose end I forget that playing the piano normally chills me out and fills the time. Today was one of those days, but as I started playing my fingers wouldn't move in the right direction for Beethoven - think they had seized up - so I turned to my trusty All Woman song book to have a play and sing. The advantage of living in a detached house is that I can play and sing as loud as I'd like.

The thing I noticed in these songs today is that firstly they are all about love, and secondly about pining after lost love (apart from diamonds are forever which is about stuffing love, having diamonds because love is too much of a hassle).

Since when have we got to the point that all we can sing about is love? The content of the songs speak volumes about how women approach love - there us an air of dependence, a hint of 'lose love, lose yourself'. I wonder if it speaks of a tradition of submission and in that needing to be needed. In the songs the woman pines for the man's affection and hopes not to be let down.

'Anything for you, but you're not here'
'Baby how I miss your love.... I need you'
'Love, soft as an easy chair'

OK, maybe the last one is not so needy - but, seriously? If love is soft as an easy chair I wouldn't want it.

This morning I read that classic description of love from 1 Corinthians 13. It speaks not of a needy love, not of a love that is soft and squishy but of a love that is strong, deeply grounded and challenging. If we were to love with all of the qualities of that chapter we would be some sort of love superhero.

Patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful, not proud, not rude, doesn't want its own way, not irritable, keeps no record of wrong, does not rejoice about injustice, rejoices in a truth win, never gives up, never loses faith, always hopeful, endures through all circumstances.

Well hard.

I've seen too many of my female friends strive after the song descriptions of love (and, I have to admit I've done this myself) - a needy love, a love that keeps you hanging on, a love that is soft and squishy and..... Well kind of lovely.

But I wonder if that degrades us as women. As we seek this kind of love we miss the depth of unconditional love - love that lies its foundations on the description of love that speaks of God in 1 Corinthians 13 - love that gets so agitated about injustice it has to do something about it. Love that never fails.

As broken humans to love in that way is hard because stuff lies around - insecurities, failed relationships, barriers (like diamonds that are forever) and a need to be needed. But.... In love for family and friends, for stranger and neighbour, there is a description of love to work towards. Then we might have something different to sing about.

Back to the Beethoven. It's safer.

It's a man's world?

I've just watched a little bit of a conversation between Dawn French and Victoria Wood about what it's like being a woman in comedy. I turned it on just when Dawn asked Victoria what it was that put women off going into comedy. Why weren't there more female comics rising up? 


And the answer was that they didn't know.... could it be because it felt like it was really a world for men? Could it be that women weren't expected to do it? Could it be that prejudices against women haven't actually changed that much? 


Dawn then asked Victoria when she would stop. Victoria said that she always thought she would stop when she got old. There are too many prejudices against older women - as they get older they lose their attractiveness so people don't want to hear what they might have to say. For men that's not an issue. 


I then started to watch the Three Musketeers. We may not wear the same clothes as the era in which it was set now, but are women still seen in the same way? The powerful women are secretive and manipulative, but still need a man as their face. The rest of them are more bothered about the way they look to men to do anything else.....


The conversation between Dawn and Victoria reminded me of conversations I have heard about women in ministry. Why aren't there more women going into ministry? Is God calling them elsewhere, or is God actually calling them to ministry, but in the world we are living in with all its ideals and prejudices is that not seen as a real possibility for anyone but those who are most determined?

Missing the signs and avoiding the margins

Something went wrong today. I think I may have driven on the wrong side of the road. It was at that moment when the road changed from one way into two way and the road system was one I didn't know. I was looking for where I was going and I totally missed the signs. I'm still not sure if I did do wrong as there were no cars coming in the other direction, but I still have that feeling......

When you are driving you so often have to really concentrate to see the signs, particularly when you are in a new place. I will not rely on sat nav but in new places I normally end up doing a u-turn at some point because I miss the signs. 

My trip today was to a BU Women in Ministry Day - a gathering for women to think about what it means to minister as a woman. I arrived and I saw a sign that said 'Baptist Ladies Day' pointing down the hill. I nearly did a u-turn there and then because I'm no lady. 

In one of the sessions we explored 1 Timothy 2:8-15 which everyone in the group had been confronted with at some point in exploring their call.

I was reminded of the time that my music teacher told me that if a male student wouldn't speak at the college carol service then no-one will because a woman shouldn't do it.

I was reminded of the time that I was told that a clearly gifted woman was not allowed to speak at a Christian Union because women couldn't teach men.

I was reminded of the time that, after been separated into male and female groups the guys came and told us that they really appreciated the fact that we dressed modestly because it meant we didn't tempt them.

I was reminded of the time that I was told (by a woman) that it didn't matter if the church I chose to go to wouldn't let women speak because it wasn't a Gospel issue. 

But then I was reminded of how one of my ministers told me, after talking about me possibly being called to ministry, that he had struggled with women being in ministry and weighing it up against scripture, but had wrestled with it, read books and come to the conclusion it was right. 

And I was reminded of how affirming Paul was of women in his letters - Phoebe, Lydia, Junia, Priscilla...... and also of how much I love Paul's letters, which always need to be read with an appreciation that he was writing in a different culture, recognising that God speaks to us today through them, and that we need to be prepared to explore those passages that are hard because they're there and they are part of the canon of Scripture which is God breathed.

I wonder if sometimes we are so focused on our destination that we drive on the wrong side of the road without noticing the people on the margins who are waiting at the traffic lights where someone has switched them to permanently on red. We might have missed where they could be going. 

Who is on the margins that I miss because missing them is so engrained in my culture?