Give it time (but don't forget to give it a good thump too....)

I am currently baking my way through the Bake Off Great British Book of Baking. I have challenged myself to bake everything in that book in order, whatever comes my way, adapting recipes as needed as I go. I finally finished the first section just over a week ago and have moved onto bread.

I've made bread before - my attempts at making bread, however, weren't always successful until I got my standing mixer with that amazing thing called a dough hook. It means I don't have to go through the effort of kneading and the recipe that the mixer came with produces, with minimum effort, the perfect white loaf. A pre-packaged system that works....

However, today I began my second recipe in the Bake Off bread section, and after the perfect white sandwich loaf (which actually turned out reasonably perfect) I am moving on to the poppy seed (well Nigella seed for me, as my local Tesco had no poppy seeds) bloomer..... and rolls (or cobs where I come from). This recipe involves a lot of commitment. I started at 9am this morning (it's now 2:21pm) and in between my admin and planning for the week I have revisited the bread a number of times. It is currently resting for the third time before I have to do something more with it. It is nowhere near being in the oven and calling itself eatable bread yet - it'll be at least another 2 hours before it comes out. When I started, before I read the recipe, I was hoping it was going to be ready for lunch, but instead I had to get crumpets out of the freezer. 

I was hoping that I could do what I normally do and simply knead it in the mixer with the fabulous dough hook, however, as it wrapped itself around the head of the dough hook I realised this was not possible - it had got too big, too adventurous - it wanted to make its way out - so I had to knead it by hand. 

I, of course, could go to the shop and buy some white sliced - white sliced is good for crisp sandwiches - that quick fix comfort food I turn to in times of heavy grumps.... but the feeling and achievement of making the crisp sandwich doesn't last long and it's not quite the same as a good, home-baked loaf of bread. 

The reason why bread takes so long is because it's a bit of a craft - to make it really good, better than the quick fix method of baking (or buying) is a long term commitment to the end product (even if it doesn't turn out well). The yeast needs time to grow the bread. The bread I have made today doesn't even have sugar in to give the yeast that quick burst of energy it needs to get going like the first cup of coffee in the morning. 

The dough, once grown, has to be knocked back, because it gets too big for its boots. Bread making is actually quite a painful process. As I opened up the risen dough after four hours this morning and peeled off the cling film, the dough collapsed (as it should do) because it was full of air that didn't need to be there. Then, as I added a new dough, it combined to make something better, something new, something more solid....

Something that could be shaped. 

And that's where the dough is now (I paused this blog to play with it a bit more) - it's shaped, ready to go in the oven once it's grown again.... and I have no idea how it is going to turn out. 

As I've been making the bread I've been reflecting on church - returning to the principles of Slow Church which have inspired me so much... that to become something good - to become something beautiful - to have that fragrance that makes people want to participate in sharing... that it's like the slow and, at times surprising, and at times painful way in which bread is made that sustainable and long term growth happens. 

It's alright going out and getting the white sliced for the crisp sandwich occasionally, because sometimes the quick fix is all we need... but it won't satisfy forever. 

It's alright buying a machine with a pre-packaged recipe to create the same loaf of bread every time, but soon that same loaf of bread will become too samey, too old, too familiar, and the surprising nature of Christ centred church community will be lost. The machine will wear out, and as we seek the now defunct parts to the mixer, the possibilities of the old and tired dough becoming bread will be less and less. 

Instead, we've got to make space for experimentation, for trying a new way, a different way, a way that works for the kind of bread we are hoping to be - the kind of church we are hoping to become. This might mean sitting at the top of my stairs for 4 hours as we grow slowly and bubble and become something that might bake. This might mean being knocked back and losing some of our energy as we take the hits of the consequences of the change brought about by forward movement. This might mean being open to a new dough that will change us into something else. This might mean being knocked back again and shaped to become who we are called to be. 

But it means being there, committed to the process, committed to the commitment, because without commitment, the dough will end up lying flat. 

I will, I hope, see my bread baked, possibly by tea time... but with church? We may be the ones who pass through the waiting stage, and we wait a while, not knowing what we will become....or we might pass through the knocking back and feel bruised for a while, wondering what the next stage will bring, but with our eyes on the bigger picture, we might hear one day (or even see it for ourselves) of the joy of the smell of freshly baked bread.

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint"               Isaiah 40:30-31

On being (not) young

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young...."   1 Timothy 4:12a

Young me

I used to take that verse and make it my own. I used to take that verse and use it to remind me that God had called me to do what I was doing..... preaching, leading, seeking to try and follow him. 

But I don't any more. Because I am not young anymore. There are other verses that affirm me in my calling, in where I am going and in who I am in God. 

However, there are a number of people who look on me as that young one who has been called by God - not in a looking down on me sort of way but as an encouragement to them that young ones are coming through. 

Before snapchat you had to
paint your face green and
wear an optic fibre lamp in
your hair to give a similar
effect

But the thing is, I am not young. I am just too old to be called a millenial, never mind whatever comes after that. I don't understand snapchat and the use of snapchat filters causes me to frown like the way people used to frown at my generation when people were buying trolls and dummies (what were those plastic dummies about?). I went off to uni (first time) 20 years ago and I have peers from school who have 4 children (some of whom are teenagers and above) and others who are now Grandparents. I am getting to the age where the possibility of being able to have children is sliding away and I now wake up aching rather than jump out of bed (to be honest, I've never been a jumper out of bed). 

And while I know that what constitutes young is very much determined by the culture of the room and situation, the meaning of young is defined in community.... I'm getting increasingly worried about our perception of young in churches. 

If I am a young one, a youth, a fresh faced voice into the mix, then I think we've found one of the answers as to why churches have the so-called 'missing generation' (I'm even almost too old for that now) - 20s and 30s are missing from our churches - why is that? Perhaps its because we forgot to treat them as adults, we treated them as youth until they were so far beyond youth they were almost pensioners. We humoured their ideas and ways forward, but we never took them seriously. We made some token changes, but we did not recognise the need for radical overhaul as life changed and the so called young moved on. 

And for many, because of this, church has become a tradition to be nodded to rather than a living and active spiritual house. And that, very much, is a problem..... and we need to change.

 

That Coat.....

I really don't care. Do u?

That coat. Of all the bad fashion choices. Of all the inappropriateness of the statement..... this is probably one of the worst. Wearing your heart on your sleeve? Why not wear it on your back? Why would you want a coat that looks like it has be graffitied anyway? 

I really don't care. Do u? 

On the back of a week where children and their parents have been separated at the southern border of the US, Melania Trump has worn a coat that has confused us all. It seems she has expressed all that we have been thinking that the Trumps have been thinking with one strange fashion choice.

I really don't care. Do u?

Well, actually, generally I don't care what people wear. It's up to them, however, some clothes do make a statement, and this one it certainly does..... but is our reaction to the coat diverting our attention from what is really going on? Is the shock over the bold statement written in what looks like white paint on the back of a coat distracting us from the cries of the children who may or may not re-united with their parents depending on what happens next... what rule change is next. 

I think that Melania Trump asks us all a valid question, which should challenge us all. As we stand and we point fingers, as we raise our eyebrows and tweet and rant and write blogs.... we have got to ask ourselves the question.... do we really care? 

The problems on the US border are so far away we can express our devastation from afar but we know we don't have to get involved. Even our own Prime Minister who rarely speaks out against Trump has said that the hostile environment that is separating the children has gone too far....

Hang on a minute. Hostile environment?

Do you care?

In the wake of the Windrush scandal, where people who have lived in this country for decades have been sent back to a home that never was a home, in the wake of the inadequate action taken to settle children under the Dubs scheme, in the wake of the fact that there are still people dying trying to cross the Mediterranean, in the wake of the fact that there are still many many people camping on the coast of France in conditions that we wouldn't believe and even contemplate..... Do you care? 

What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about this hostile environment where in the US children's cries are heard as they wait for the what next.... What are you going to do about this hostile environment that labels people as 'the other' so we can leave them in any conditions and danger that we want? 

Do you actually care? Or might that coat actually suit you too? 

I'm challenged that I am not doing enough. I am challenged that I sit in my study in suburbia and I write, but as I write I feel helpless, what can I do? 

The Joint Public Issues Team has launched a campaign to challenge the government's approach to illegal immigration which is leading to destitution, discrimination and distrust. The campaign challenges us to take action, starting by writing to our MPs. I'm going to do that when I have finished writing this blog. It seems like a tiny step, but I believe any step is a start. 

As we hear the stories from the US. As we read that ridiculous coat..... We should be challenged.

Yes I do care. Do you? 

“If a brother or sister is naked and lacks daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and eat your fill’, and yet you do not supply their bodily needs, what is the good of that?”

James 2:15-16

As the ground shakes.....

There is a constant banging in Ramsbottom at the moment, and as you get closer to the source of the noise, the floor actually vibrates. For anyone sensitive to ground movement or sound it is a bit of a nightmare because it means that it agitates and it stops normal life feeling normal. 

They're building some houses - but I'm guessing the ground where they are building needs some work - and the constant banging is them making a breakthrough - them creating the foundations to make those houses safe. 

If you hit long enough and hard enough the ground will give way. 

The process is painful, but it's getting somewhere. 

Part of my calling as a minister is to help church move forward and change - move on from the past and be faithful to what it is to be called to be a church in the world today, not holding onto the things that could be moved, not holding on to the rocks that weigh us down, not burying ourselves under concrete, but to be released to be the people we could be as we seek to be serving Christ in this community. 

I believe that new can grow from old - that the foundations of the past are something that the new can grow in. You can see it when flowers spring up from the cracks in the paving stones. You can see it when that new life begins to spread and impact the old around. 

But sometimes it can feel like there is a layer of concrete to drill/bang our way through, before that new can really explode into life. Sometimes it can feel like we are that machine that is banging and banging to make way for the new. Sometimes that concrete is difficult to crack. Sometimes all the work seems pointless and you don't feel like you are getting anywhere.....


But... if you go on long enough and keep being persistent, where the Holy Spirit is guiding, the ground will give way. It might mean finding others to be persistent with you. It might mean doing it in relay - that passing on the baton can provide new energy to continue and new eyes to spot where the breakthrough will be.... but the work that has been done already, and the work that we are doing now, and the work that will be done in the future on breaking that ground all matters..... Like the day by day persistent banging breaking ground on the building site in my town at the moment. 

As I write this, the banging has stopped. It may be that ground has been made and it will move onto the next bit (in fact it just has), it may be that the machine needs a rest because it is hot and tired..... it may be that the ground beneath has been revealed  or cleared and the building can begin. 

So often building means stripping back first... and some stripping back is more energy draining and time consuming and irritating and seemingly pointless than others. 

But I am confident, like the builders, now making the town vibrate again, that in the end it will be worth it and those new houses, those new ways will be embedded into the community, and the learning of new ways of living and serving can begin once again. 

When God is involved.....

"The desert and the parched land will be glad;
the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom;
it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy"      Isaiah 35:1-2a

Tent Pitching - Some Thursday Night Dream

After spending an afternoon dreaming of what we could do, and then an evening frustrated at what we can't, I was reminded of one of my favourite quotes......

"A church which pitches its tents without constantly looking out for new horizons, which does not continually strike camp, is being untrue to its calling.... [we must] play down our longing for certainty, accept that which is risky, and live by improvisation and experimentation" - Hans Kung 

Just imagine if we lived and moved like this - constantly looking forward, constantly looking onward, not settling but dreaming, determined to follow in the ways of Jesus, without dragging our feet or digging our heels in. How different things might be..... 

You only live once, carpe diem, seize the day…… before it whistles by. Be unbound by the binds of institution and of fear and of comfort and of self consciousness, because there is more beyond….  So much more….. 

“God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us” - Ephesians 3:20

Leadership is hard (but at least we're not dead yet!)

This morning I've been stuck in the world of the first Christian martyr, Stephen. Acts 6 and 7 tells the story of him being enabled as a leaders because of the potential that was seen in him, him flourishing in the role he was commissioned into, him being taken to trial by those who saw him as a massive threat, him defending his life with an impassioned plea and defence of what he had been doing and then finally with his death....

This is all we really know of Stephen. A promising leader, enabled by the early church, but whose time as a leader was cut short by those who were threatened by the things he was saying and doing. 

And that's where I came up with the title to this blog.... it was going to be the title of my sermon but I think it's gone another direction..... 

Leadership is sometimes hard. As a church leader I'm called to lead the church forward, but am pulled back by the ones who want to keep it the same. I'm the person who needs to be there when it hurts most and the person who it is most OK to say what you want to, however much it hurts me because that's part of my job. I have a thick skin, but even those with a thick skin have points where the skin is a little bit thinner. 

Leadership is hard. We're trying to keep up with the world as it moves at a speedy pace, but slow down and be and help others to manage the speed when they are injured or flailing or simply struggling with life. 

Leadership is hard, and the expectations we place on our leaders often make it so much harder....

I've begun eating my lunch in car parks too often recently. Sometimes going from place to place and not having time to do a 'big shop' or the inclination to be organised at home means that I have experienced some interesting places to eat (I think I'm probably just a bit disorganised with lunch). But then, this week I have had a number of people tell me that they haven't even been able to make time for lunch because the tumbling waterfall of meetings has meant that it has all become a bit of a sprint. 

And the not eating lunch is just the tip of the iceberg. Underneath the surface, the paddling, for many, is frantic and keeping up with the demands of those they lead and also those who lead the leaders is something that simply cannot be sustained. 

One thing you can say about Stephen, in a time of continuing change, is that he never let up in doing the things he was called to. In fact he was called to do the things that were too much for the apostles to do.... and if he had lived perhaps he would have needed to raise leaders to do the things that were too much for him to do as the church changed and grew. 

So here's the thing.... as we reflect on the difficult job that we have been called to in leadership - whether that is in church or other work, we need to make sure that we don't get to the point where our legs are so tired we can't paddle anymore - and don't even get to the point where we end up in the waterfall that means we can't even reach out and grab some lunch. 

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week, and seems an appropriate time to raise the issue of self care. If we are to be effective in what we are being called to do, we must make sure that we are given enough time to process, to work through, to eat, to be.... that incessant paddling to keep our heads above water? It's not good for us, it's not healthy and it doesn't make for a leader who is able to be who they have been called to be. 

To the leaders who are paddling hard at the moment - reach your arms up and ask for help to be lifted out of this never ending cycle because you can't keep it up forever. The expectations on you at the moment are clearly too great. Don't go to that meeting, cancel that appointment... those things they will wait...  Don't begin anything new until you've either done or crossed out everything that is on your list and you can begin again. It's not a sprint, and we all need time to refresh. Take your day off!

To the leaders of leaders who are watching the paddling as you paddle - reach out and hold your leaders up. Reach out and together get out of the fast flow. Just because you work at a pace that can manage all this, it doesn't mean that everyone else can too. Just pause for a moment.... there are some things that will wait....  just pause, and be. And lead by example... make space for lunch, for days off, for holidays, for refreshment.

To those being led, take care of your leaders. They are not invincible, they're human. Check they are getting the space to eat, to relax, to sleep, and if they're not hold them to account - ask them why.... and then when you've asked them why, do something about it. Stop complaining and encourage. Affirm their position, their calling and be positive. You may not agree with everything a leader asks you to do, but there are ways of saying it.... check your tongue and stop sending those e-mails past 9pm. 

Stephen died because he was doing what he was called to do, enabled by the Holy Spirit to care for the church and to share the good news with those he met. We must release our leaders to do just this, to do what they have been called to do, and thankfully, because we live in a different time to Stephen, we can hopefully be sure that they will then go on to flourish and grow and help to release others to continue the work they began. 

If you are struggling right now, with stress, with workload, with worry, with anything else, then don't struggle alone. There are people who will stand with you, walk with you, listen to you, hold the load for you. We are not made to be alone, and no-one should ever need to do all of this alone. My prayer for you is that you will find companions and helpers on the journey who will carry you as you need to be carried, hide with you as you need to hide and shield you from whatever comes your way. Ultimately, God is carrying you through this and you can find shelter in him. 

Navigating the Magic Roundabout

A few weeks ago I came across a very special roundabout. A Magic Roundabout. Not the Magic Roundabout but one of four so-called 'magic roundabouts' in towns that have grown rapidly and the road systems have grown rapidly with them.... I don't know what it is about rapidly growing towns, but roundabouts feature heavily. 

The Plough Roundabout in Hemel Hempstead is one such magic roundabout. Not only has it got a large roundabout in the middle, but it has six mini roundabouts round the outside. Look at it as a newcomer and it seems like a logistical nightmare..... but step away from the bigger picture and take its roundabouts one at a time, treating each roundabout as a new challenge to be completed then you quickly get to where you need to be going. 

Look at the beauty of it in this video.....

To step back and see how it all works is inspiring - whoever thought this all up and made it work in the way it does had some wild imagination.....

But to arrive at the entrance and only look at the big picture could, I imagine, cause panic. 

I've been talking to a number of friends recently about the challenges of life. It seems that as I and many of my friends approach one of the big ages, negotiating life has become more difficult. Choices are not as simple as they used to be and there are a number of mini roundabouts to contend with before we can get to the other side. 

Yet with hindsight, when we look back and see how we got to the other side we see the beauty of the dance of the magic roundabout. 

I'm yet again in the middle of a number of review processes - in my own church, in the Methodist circuit, at the end of my Newly Accredited period, in my own head, and sometimes the process can seem overwhelming. 

However, in mind of the bigger picture, if we take each mini roundabout at a time, the way ahead will become clear and open. And we'll get there, with God's help, the one who writes the road signs, we'll get there..... and when we stop to evaluate the big roundabout, the beauty of it all will be dazzling.

There's a time for everything, a season for every part of the roundabout

A time to stop and a time to go
A time to drive on and a time to pull back
A time to go round and a time to go over
A time to zoom out and a time to focus in
A time to panic and a time to dance
A time to try things out and a time to evaluate
A time to just get on with it and a time to just stand and watch
A time to shout GO ON THEN and a time to quietly nudge on
A time to love the moment and a time to approach in fear
A time to simply negotiate the roundabout in front.....
And a time to soar and see the beauty of the dance.