Sunday 9 February 2020

Called and Uncalled

It's a funny thing - calling - a strange idea I think. I am called to follow Jesus, he calls me to be set aside for this strange minister role. I am called to be minister of a church in the south to lead in the way I hope I am hearing God call. 

Ever since I began training (well before that, but the thinking got deeper as I went through ministerial formation) I have questioned what it means to be called and whether if you are called as a minister is it a life long thing. As Baptists we don't do the whole ordination brings you magic thing but there is something in ordination that sets you aside that says that this is not just a job, but your whole life. It's very difficult to minister unless you approach it in that way - to be a minister can never be simply a job, it takes over your whole life. 

Every time I hear of a friend or colleague move away from ministry because of something that has happened in their life, or had to change the way they minister because of illness, or been basically dismissed from a church for a plethora of reasons but with nowhere to go, or the money running out in the place they were convinced God had called them I question the nature of calling. Someone I worked with quite closely disappeared never to be seen again. Someone else just couldn't carry on. Someone else realised that the type of ministry to which they were called to was not the type of ministry that matched up to the expectations of the church. Some ministers do things that aren't good which means they have to leave. Some just don't thrive. Some churches can be frankly quite horrible and some ministers and churches just don't get on with one another. 

And it leads me to the question of uncalledness..... can you be uncalled? As you sit and pick up the pieces of the change of circumstance in life, as you question your very identity in God..... is there an element of being called back, to return, to let go, to be set free perhaps in there? 

Today I preached on the anointing of David from 1 Samuel 16 and as I prepared I looked back on the circumstances that brought him to that point. The Israelites wanted a King and God basically said 'go on then' and in 1 Samuel 9:17 Saul is introduced to Samuel with the words from God "Here is the man of whom I spoke to you. He it is who shall rule over my people". This was a God appointment. Saul wasn't a big fan at first but he gave in in the end because it came from God (he even hid under all the baggage to avoid being made King - there's probably a blog in that) and he tried his best for 42 years to be King. Saul gets a bit of a bad press, but we've got to remember he wasn't all bad - and God put him there. 

But he did get it wrong. He lost his way. The last straw was when he lied to Samuel about the task God had set before him - he saved his friend King Agag instead of killing him and he lied when he took the best things from the destruction of the Amalekites for himself (yes the Old Testament is quite brutal). It wasn't until he was found out that he repented.... but it was too late - because of his lies and deceit his reign as King would soon be over and God would appoint a new King in his place. 

He was uncalled, called away, let go. While his calling came from God, his behaviour and choice did not, which meant that he couldn't carry on with what he was doing. His reign was for a season. 

And Samuel grieved for him. We grieve when we lose a leader we love. We grieve when we realise the way in which we are being called has changed. We grieve..... but then God calls us on. 

Sometimes a calling is for a season, and the way becomes clear for a move onward (that's why I moved south - where I was called so strongly it was overwhelming and is the reason I am sticking around even when its tough) - it doesn't mean it's easy but God calls. 

Sometimes a calling ends abruptly, and whether that's because of the behaviour of the individual or of those to which they were called, then grieving and healing needs to be done. 

Sometimes a calling ends because of circumstance - now this is the hardest for me to understand. What if a strong call is stopped in its tracks by a lack of resources, or what if someone gets ill, or what if? 

I don't know, and I don't know if I have all the answers, but I do know if a calling is interrupted, grieving is often important, and we must be given space to do so (on leaving the Bohemian Enclave neither me or the church were given the chance to work through that, and that's something that was beyond my control that I regret very much)..... but then when that grieving period is over we need to listen for God's voice again, and we take that tentative step forward, we broaden our expectations perhaps, we learn to forgive, we make space to heal, but at some point we need to look up and see, because what is next - God knows - and it could be something far better. 

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps" - Proverbs 16:9

Tuesday 4 February 2020

All Icing and No Cake

I like to bake. If you know me at all you can't get away from knowing that. I'm passionate about homemade cake - it's so much better than shop bought and I get disappointed frankly if I am promised homemade cake and I get shop bought. Occasionally I will buy cake, but only out of desperation or if it's something like doughnuts, which I really can't make well (I have tried). Perhaps I am a bit of a cake snob. 

When I go to a coffee shop or an event or something else, the quality of the cake is key. Sometimes the cake promises much - it's beautifully iced - it sits majestic on the cake stand and it shines with a beauty that invites consumption. 

But then you eat it and it tastes a bit like iced not properly set yet concrete. You smile and you eat, pour on the cream, gulp down the tea, perhaps put it in the microwave, but you're left disappointed like when you eat a McDonalds - alright at the time, but the feeling of 'why did I go there?' sits heavily in the stomach for a while. 

But there is something worse than that. 

Cupcakes. 

Some of them balance the icing and sponge beautifully and are a pleasure to eat. The sweet and the soft sit together like a newly married couple who are beginning life together. You get caught up in the joy of the perfect combination, and sit in the moment for a while. 

But that's not all cupcakes. Cupcakes have a reputation for having a tower of icing, a sickly, sweet, sugary cone rising up from a cake which seems to be only there as a poor foundation to be left behind when the icing gets too much. 

More icing than cake.....

And then there's the celebration cakes that come with a sign that says 'caution do not eat' because behind the icing is a carefully carved block of polystyrene that instead of satisfying would get caught in your teeth. 

All icing and no cake..... 

What looks most attractive is actually most disappointing because without the depth of good cake we only get the idea of cake and where there is no cake there's no long term satisfaction. Icing is good, but not on its own. 

When the prophet Samuel anoints David to be King - youngest child who was looked over by his brothers - God tells him to pass over the older, stronger, taller, more handsome brothers with these words in 1 Samuel 16:7.

"Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart". 

As people we are likely to do just that - to look at the outward appearance - the pretty icing, the immaculately decorated cake, the well dressed celebrity preacher, the one who bigs themselves up with stories of their own wonderfulness - and being impressed by what we see, we take a huge bite..... and it's only when our teeth come together and ache with the intensity of the sugar that we realise there was no depth, no cake in what we've chosen to consume. 

But what Samuel is told to do is to look deeper - it's not the icing on the outside that counts, not the shininess in all it's shiny glory, but it's the quality and depth of the heart inside that matters - and that's how God calls, that's where God works, that's where love is found, where the cake is light and melts in your mouth, not overfaced by sickly icing, but perfectly formed - and in that heart there is something beautiful to be found. 

And when we make cake? It's the big picture that matters - coating it with edible glitter doesn't make it taste good, but slowly but surely following a recipe, tweaking and changing as we examine the texture, deeply rooted in the a quality combination of ingredients, balancing the icing with the depth of the cake, that's what makes the heart of the cake good. 

That's what makes good church - it's the big picture that matters - coating it with a sheen of perfection doesn't make it taste good, but slowly but surely building from the inside, tweaking and changing as we examine the terrain, deeply rooted in Christ, balancing the icing with the depth of the cake, that's what makes the heart of the church good.

All icing and no cake is not cake.