Galentine's Day, Palentine's Day..... invented for me to deal with the sorrow I feel about not having roses thrust on my doorstep for Valentine's Day. Galentine's Day - a day to celebrate my lady friends with chocolate for ladies and with lady activities like spas and champagne and gin. Palentine's Day - a day to hang out with my friends and have fun like only friends can and be a bit more inclusive and go beyond the ladies to the gentlemen (obviously with less pink because gentlemen prefer blue).
And Valentine's Day? A day for those who do this kind of thing to celebrate love, for those who don't to say 'I celebrate love every day I don't need to do it for one day', and for those who don't do either to be told - don't worry about being single, you're special even though you are lacking.
Yes this may be leaning towards a rant. Moving away from the whole thing about St Valentine turning in his grave because of what Valentine's has become, and moving away from the fact that he has been misrepresented for what he has done. Ignoring the fact he is also the saint of (not) fainting and the plague (appropriate in 2022). Imagining that his legacy is one of love and romance, I'd like to ask one thing....
Don't use this day to try and make that weird tribe of singletons feel better about being single.
Because being single doesn't mean lacking. You should never assume that someone who is single is going to be sad and lonely when everyone else is loved up.
Because one person's being single is different to another. You may have been single in the past and you may have found valentines day difficult, but that doesn't mean that you have to focus all of your valentines energy on making sure everyone else is OK. Sink into where you are, don't try and sink in to where you were.
Because by drawing attention to singleness on a day that's commercialised to celebrate romantic love only makes the frustrations of singleness more clear. I was OK until people told me I shouldn't be but I'd be OK because I'm loved.
The thing is, even on Valentine's Day when I don't get red roses or anonymous cards, I know I am loved. I know that I am not alone. I know that I am valued and the way I am is more than OK. I don't need a 'there there' stroke or a meme or a special gal pal celebration to remind me that I'm loved and noticed, because I'd prefer to get on with my day.
Shane Claiborne described St Valentine on his facebook page today as 'a war resister and a revolutionary for love'.
I'd go with that. Perhaps the attention that we're putting on making sure we get the right number of roses or making sure that our single gal pals are not left out even though they never felt that way in the first place would be better focussed on being a revolutionary for love.
A revolutionary love recognises that we are all are interconnected - that one persons actions always affects another. Revolutionary love is where we choose to love our enemies as well as our friends. Revolutionary love is caring about justice for all, and not just for us. Revolutionary love goes beyond 'are you ok hun' to changing the world for the better, starting from where we are.
Revolutionary love is in the story of St Valentine when he is said to have prayed for his captor's daughter who was blind and she then could see.
Revolutionary love is in victory and restoration, not in warfare or power grabbing, or smooching and smoothing, but in the stretching out of the arms of God on the cross, a declaration that love wins, that love conquers over all.
So gather your Gals and your Pals and your Vals..... on whatever day it is today, and know that the love you are given is far more than anything that others might assume you are lacking, and give it away with abundance.
Today of all days, may you be known by love.
