Since I wrote my blog on the more recent experiences of Baptist Ministry I've had a lot of feedback and encouragement. Women who have experienced the same have appreciated me putting it into words, those who have noticed the shift as they've watched the world change around them have expressed solidarity. Male colleagues in ministry have expressed sadness, anger and disappointment as well as deeply passionate and genuine support. One or two have asked what they can do to support me, and how to support women in general.
It is the last I address now. This list is not definitive, and I am only one woman, with one woman's experience. I suggest that we all need to talk to and get to know the women ministers around us and hear what they say and experience - and then respond accordingly.
Here is my personal list.
Firstly keep your eyes and ears open to what is going on around you. If you haven't picked up on the trends that I've observed in my previous post, then test them, check them, see where they are true. You may be in rooms and at tables where it is normal to debate a theology that affects people calling and lives - how are you speaking into those spaces? If you were the woman in the room how would you feel? Someone said to me recently "I hear you are into women's ministry". I replied "well I am one". The people who are being talked about and whose ministry is being dismissed are often sitting there in the room. We might try hard to find balance in representation, but it isn't always reflected in how welcome is offered.
Secondly, don't just get angry, call it out. I really appreciate the solidarity that so many of my male colleagues in ministry show by the way they stand by my side and seek to understand how this makes me feel. They affirm me, celebrate me and appreciate me. Carry on doing that - it does help.... but it could be taken one step further. If someone deliberately puts up barriers to women getting involved, ask why. If someone speaks out or preaches against women in ministry in a way that hurts their women colleagues unnecessarily, pick them up on it. They may not even know what they are doing. Call out unhelpful conversations in cluster meetings. Speak out your own views, drown out the rising voices. Walk away and refuse to participate - that's what some women are doing.
Thirdly, check your own language and behaviour. You can say that you are supportive of women in ministry, but then, when the atmosphere is right, you get taken by the crowd. You can say you are supportive of women in ministry, but then you worry too much about what others may think. You can say you are supportive of women in ministry, but then you refer to all ministers as he or him or bros. You can say you are supportive of women in ministry, but always make sure your opinion is heard above theirs. Big up the work of Project Violet - don't play it down, depending on the room you are in. Live and speak like the Baptist Union has accepted and affirmed women in ministry for over 100 years.
Fourthly, celebrate your female colleagues, make space for them in your pulpit (not just on Mothering Sunday or when you are on holiday), invite them to the tables where decisions are made, recognise them as equals, think carefully about whether its OK to take part in events where women may be invited but not fully allowed to participate (sometimes I think it is - if we're not in the room, how will things change?). Some of the hardest places for women who are gifted and called are those that allow women in, but only to a certain level, or only to speak if accompanied or "covered" by a husband or colleague. It's the reality of the space we live in.
And finally in those places and conversations where women's ministry and gifts are not fully celebrated, encourage respect, consideration, helpful language and understanding. Ask the difficult questions that hang in the air.
We are all human beings, made in the image of God, after all.
